A True Done It

All Hallows Eve
A True Done It

The Grim Reaper walked across the room, it's skeletal face looking right at home in the eerie room. In it's boney grip was a platter of shrimp Suzettes just from the oven. Harley Quinn, dressed in motley and a bi horned hat with bells, followed behind, jingling with every step, with a large punch bowl, walking carefully to make sure the delicious elixir did not slosh around much. The sliced oranges and the pulp from the kumquats and the floating cherries made the drink very festive indeed.

The brothel like room had transformed itself into the haunted mansion it was. Just under the lively Halloween music were the sounds of moaning and chains rattling and between songs you could hear the unearthly sounds and the occasional scream filtering through the speakers. The huge portrait of the evil looking old man had commenced to doing his Hogwarts portrait gallery thing and the longer you watched him, the more gruesome he got. At one point the old geezer was munching on what appeared to be a human leg.

The electronic spiders and their orange eyes blinked on and off in the draped webbing over the velvet drapes. Smaller plastic spiders were scattered throughout the treat table, now resplendent with the carved pumpkins and lit candles and lovely gourds. A few just smaller than life like plastic skulls were nestled in among the pumpkins and gourds, grinning their boney grins at the people moving around purposefully around the big main room.

One of the incredible things about this house was that it was filled all things that make a haunted mansion (Think the house in the Addams Family meets Twelve Oaks meets the Munsters house and they all got together and had a baby: this house without the cob webs) There were hidden doors, hidden rooms and hidden staircases to led to other rooms. We had spent Wednesday night exploring all the secret nooks and crannies, after the counselors had gone home and the extras were off into the night. We laughed and squealed and God Speed had triggered a few of the motion sensitive effects to scare us, but he by no means showed us all the tricks. They were lovely and truly frightening. We would be having so much fun.

The catering staff, dressed in tuxedo shirts and black slacks and cummerbunds were moving around, helping us set up. We laughed at their suggestion that we all just sit down and relax and let them do the work but we looked at them as if they had insulted us. We simply agreed to stand there and wit for orders to lift and tote…you could tell none of us had been born with the mythical silver spoon. So far though we were staying out of the way

The chaises which had dominated the room were moved back and several chairs brought in to make comfortable seating pods in the corners of the room and out into the foyer where over heated dancers could cool off. The wide porch was swept and the porch furniture’s cushions plumped up and ready to receive guests, decorated with orange and black crepe paper and pumpkins lit up inside with candles. The Witch King came in, lugging a box of red bottles into the kitchen. Death followed him.

“Hey Grim, where did you want these bottles?” he asked the strangely merry face of the skeleton.
“Best put them in the fridge, don’t you think?” said the Reaper, pointing like the hand of fate to the stainless steel refrigerator. The Witch King (WK) nodded and sat the box on the floor, opened the big wide door and began to methodically put the bottles of special refreshment in the fridge.

“Don’t forget, only we heat these up when the counselors arrive,” the WK reminded.

The counselors would arrive around dark. The lead counselor had emailed to say that he was bringing another guest. He was told more the merrier. Everyone wondered how the counselors would dress. We had all been jealously guarding the secret of our costumes and could not wait to see who was who. Regardless of what you wore, you had to wear a mask. Some folks would be easier to guess than others.

About that time, James Bond came sailing through. He stopped and looked at the WK….then he extended his hand. “Bond…James Bond,” said the counterfeit spy.
“Witch King,” said the heavily garbed person in a strangely beautiful if abstract mask, resembling an arrow head.
“Good to know you,” said James Bond. “Who is that?” he asked, pointing at Harley Quinn.
“I think it is a harlequin,” said the Witch King.
“Funny, there’s a comedian born every second,” said the spy. “I brought a barrel of mead; wanna help me get it in?”

“Sure, I’ll just get my wand…” said the sarcastic witch. “Levi-Corpus!!!” he chanted, cackling wildly. Death just shook it's head. There was a faint pressure on Death’s bony leg and it looked down. Shade, the house mouser the owner had told them about was rubbing her thin black body against the skeleton’s legs. With careful fingers the Reaper plucked a shrimp treat and offered it to the cat, who immediately ran off with it under the table and began to eat the fishy little morsel.
“Good kitty,” said Death in a soft voice.

A Saloon Girl came by with large bowl full of cookies. She smiled at Death.
“Great costume,” she said.
“Thanks, “said the Reaper. About that time Marlon Brando came in complaining about how he could have been a contender to a Cheerleader dressed in a blood red outfit with a large C on the chest.
“Which team are you cheering for?” asked Athena, goddess of love and beauty.
“Team Compton, of course,” said the Cheerleader. A Flapper in a bright blue sequined costume walked by and looked at the Cheerleader.
“I came so close to coming as a Cheerleader with a big V on my chest,” she said.
“What would the V stand for?” asked Red Riding Hood.
“Viking,” whispered Death in her ear. “Did you bring any brownies?”
“You bet, but the ones in the kitchen are very special, if you know what I mean,” she said. Death nodded at her and headed away for the kitchen. Harley Quinn was sampling a small pinch of brownie herself. Death reached in and got a small piece and ate it. Chocolate is a favorite, even among the living impaired.
A Christmas Gift came bustling in complete with silver paper, red bows and a bit of holly. Death looked at Harley Quinn and shrugged. “Christmas comes sooner and sooner every year,” she said, her lips curling up with a grin. About that time Mother Nature paid a visit.

“A bit early isn’t it?” said Ma Nature.
“What’s it to you Poison Ivy?” asked Christmas Gift, eyeing the diaphanous gown covered with flowers and vines and the crown made of wild flowers and a little blue bird bobbing merrily over her head as she walked.
“I am not Poison Ivy!!!” fumed the earth spirit.
“It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature,” said Harley Quinn, nudging Christmas Gift gently, the paper rattling ever so gently.
“Ah,” said Christmas Gift, a look of dawning on her masked face.
Sheila Na Geira, the Irish Pirate Princess waltzed into the room. “OOooo, what are we talking about?” she said.
“Mother Nature,” said Christmas Gift.
“Well, it certainly looks like spring is about to bust out all over,” said the Gaelic girl. Mother Nature showed the Irish Lass her middle finger but blew her a kiss at the same time. While one argument was circumvented, another was working up in the main room. Death and Harley Quinn ran past the others and through the double doors to see the Witch King arguing with Marlon Brando, James Bond trying to stay between the combatants.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, please, let’s remember this is no time to have a smack down,” said 007. “Don’t make me whip my license to kill out on you.”
“Give me a break,” said the Witch King. A beautiful witch in a long gown and green hooded cloak came by and cast a baleful eye on both of them.
A Pirate and a Pirate’s wench came in, carrying large platters of goodness. The caterers who were hired to serve the treats scurried around, helping us set the platters but there simply were not enough eyes to keep that cat out of everyone’s way. The excitement was often punctuated by the sound of the cat meowing and hissing, sometimes giving a sharp slap to a reprimanding hand or gently nudging foot.
“Scat!!! You accursed beast!!!” swore the pirate, swinging his plastic cutlass at the offending animal who was trying his damnedest to collect a pig in the blanket, one of those savory little sausages in a crescent roll.

Death went over and began shooing the cat, who turned a drop dead glance at the Reaper and meowed itself out of the room. The Reaper had stray fantasies about the cat scorching it's tail on one of the pumpkins the gang had spent all of Thursday carving out, even using templates of our favorite characters from the show and books. Death was shaken out of it's cat tail burning revelries when a gypsy came in, breathless with excitement announcing it was a half hour before darkness fall and the arrival of the Counselors. Suddenly, the night and everything about it held delicious promise.

The party began with music and everyone, regardless of skill or grace began to shake their money makers to the music which ranged from Nine Inch Nails to Toby Keith. Between each song, you could hear the sound effects filtering in. Already there had been some yummy scares with some holographic ghosts floating in. The Dance Hall Girl was having a cup of Kumquat punch with the Cheerleader when she noticed a tall man in a priest’s cassock.

“I wonder who that is?” asked the Dance Hall Girl.
“I don’t know, “said the Cheerleader. She saw Athena float by, her spear in her hand and she tugged at the goddess’s toga. “Who invited Father Tall Dark and Mysterious?”
“I don’t know, but our Witch seems to be enjoying her dance with him,” said Athena. A waiter floated by and Athena took a glass of wine.
Death came over to join the girls in their discussion. The bony hand reached out to the same waiter and took a glass of wine and sipped it.
“Who is the person in the Sheet with Eyeholes?” asked the Reaper.
“I think you would call that ‘Classic Ghost’,” said the Dance Hall Girl. “And look at that adorable Faery!” she said, pointing at the creature with the delicate translucent dress and long flowy wings.
“Looks like the Witch King is digging her in a big way,” said Athena. Death spied Harley Quinn and saw that she speaking to a Guardian Angel, complete with a harp and feathery wings.
“Well who is that Mother Nature is talking to?” asked James Bond who sidled over to see what all the hub bub was about. Athena saw Mother Nature chatting with a River Boat Gambler. When the song was over, the Priest led the witch off the floor, whispered in her ear and she nodded and went into the kitchen. After a few minutes, she returned with a highball drink and handed it to the Priest who smiled at her.

“Well, it is Halloween, after all, all spirits of good will are welcomed to our fete,” said Death.

To Be Continued