The Proportions of one's Ass to the Height of Selected Pumpkins

"Can't you get that pumpkin a little higher?" asked Eric as he watched Barrister balanced precariously on the tottering ladder.
"Why don't you fly your big ass up here and place it a little higher, Eric," said Renee. She was still nursing that Ganga and Gin hangover she had. He smiled at her, a little fangy.
"My big ass?" he asked, turning to look at the feature in dispute. "My ass is perfectly proportioned to the rest of me. As you well know."
"Be good," said Minnie. "Or I will take a page out of Aslinn's book and make you hold hands for the rest of the evening." Eric smiled at his little wife and pulled her to him.
"I promise to be good, I don't want to hold hands with Renee anyway, she digs in with her nails," he said. Renee stuck her tongue out.

Bill had made it back to Bon Temps and he wrote us an email. Sam was on the ballot to be the mayor of Bon Temps and he and the shifter had been making a plan that would help not only the humans of the area but the Vampires who were going hungry because of the Tru:Blood scare and the Hep-V virus which was making the population if not zombie on principle, but zombie in practice. He then wrote about something that happened at Fangtasia. Someone had broken into the bar and while they did not take anything, it was obvious they were looking for something as the bar was wrecked. Bill promised he had Ginger clean up the bar with a few of the other humans and Vampires in Eric's employ but he was still concerned enough to report it. Eric placed a call to his Vampire minions and they all told him they would be keeping a closer eye out for the bar.

Barrister finally got the pumpkin to the height Eric deemed fit for it and Len passed him another one to place. Jessica and James and Willa and Tara helped with the carving while we humans cut and gutted them. They had a lot of fun doing it though Eric and Pam just stood at the side lines. This was beneath their dignity. I thought they were just waiting around for one of us humans to cut ourselves so they could get a little lick. They were still drinking the Red Ale, as it was called here in England, and they were not feeding unless it was a love nip. Renee and I offered to give blood to anyone who needed a little supplement, and so far only Willa and Tara, the youngest of our gang availed themselves of the offer. They would take our wrists and have a little drink and then heal our fang marks.

I stood back and looked at the pile of pumpkins and Aolani waved her hands and they all lit up. So nice having a witch to do that sort of stuff and we stood back to look at the display. Pam smiled and nodded. "I like it."
"We have more to do," I said. "Come and help me with the bodies."
"Sounds fun," she said, following me to the car barn.

Ten Thousand Miles

O my Luve's like a red, red rose,
That's newly sprung in June:
O my Luve's like the melodie,
That's sweetly play'd in tune.

As fair art thou, my bonie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry.

Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.

And fare-thee-weel, my only Luve!
And fare-thee-weel, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' 'twere ten thousand mile!
Robert Burns A Red Red Rose

“You are going back to Bon Temps aren’t you?” I asked Bill.
“Yes,” he answered.
“You won’t be here for Samhain or Yule,” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “I would ask you and your husband for a favor.”
“Me and my husband?” I asked. “Is this a writ of divorce between us? I have been your sister wife for a while, you could at least say the words if you are done with me.”
“Renee was not pleased with me either, and no, this is not a break up of our relationship,” he said. “I have to go back to Bon Temps.”
“Why? What do you have left in Bon Temps?” I asked.
“Bon Temps is my home and Sam needs me to come and help him with something for both the human and the Vampire community,” said Bill. “I have finished the book and I already have an agent and he has Simon and Shuster interested in it.”
“That’s great Bill, but tell me something, why do you have to go back?” I asked.
“I am still king of Louisiana, I have to go back and help everyone get through this, Sam and I have a plan and we have to work out how to get it in place,” he said. “He is running for Mayor and I am going home to vote.”
“Absentee ballot, ever heard of it?” I asked.
“Aslinn, will you and Barrister please do this for me?” he asked.
“Do what Bill?” I asked, more than a little annoyed.
“Take care of Jessica and James for me,” he said. “Here is my credit card, spend it on her and James needs, let her shop from time to time.”
“Keep it Bill, Jessica is Barrister’s Vampire companion,” I said. “We will care for her needs, just as we cared for yours and Eric’s and everyone else in this house with fangs.”
“I am sorry,” he said.
“No you aren’t Bill, you have been itching to go back there since you got here,” I said. “I’m selfish; I just want you here where you are safe, among friends. I mean, you are worried about who will take care of Jessica but you are not worried about who will take care of you.”
“I can take care of myself,” he said.
“Great, just don’t call us if you get in trouble, I won’t be back,” I said. He looked at me. “You are going back for her aren’t you?” He looked down and pursed his lips.
“You always knew I was in love with her,” he said.
“Oh I know,” I said. “And I was willing to let you go when the time came, but you are just going, leading me and Renee on. Eric is not doing that.”
“I am sorry,” he said again.
“I know you are,” I said.
“Aslinn, I have to go, and this is not all about Sookie, some of it is, but is not all about her,” he said.
“Go Bill, go, and do what you have to do, but please don’t call me when you are heartbroken and you find Sookie is with someone else, and you know she could be, I mean, she wasn’t broken up with you five minutes and she was with Eric, and then she was with Warlow, and now she could be with anyone. Danger whore…strike the danger part and you have it,” I said.
“That is enough,” he said. He zipped up the suit case he’d been packing. “I don’t want us to leave on bad terms, but good terms or bad, I will be leaving.”
“Go, good luck Bill, you are going to need it,” I said.
He came up to me. “Can I kiss you good bye?” I didn’t speak but I didn’t give him much of a kiss either. “Not much of a kiss.”
“I’m better at hello,” I said.

He picked up his suit case and went out of his light tight room and went up stairs to the main floor where Barrister’s driver was taking him to the train which would take him to London to Heathrow. I sat down on the bed. I don’t know how long I sat there when I heard someone knocking on the door frame. I looked up.
“Oh great, the Norse Lothario, come to give me comfort,” I said.
“I can go, I just heard you two talking,” said Eric, leaning against the door frame.
“Anything with fangs heard us talking, and I am sure it entertained everyone,” I said.
“No, Renee and Bill’s scene was far more entertaining, she called him filthy names and I think she slapped him,” said Eric.
“She should know better,” I said. “Slapping you guys is like slapping a brick wall. I ought to know, I slapped you enough.”
“Yeah but you are trying to save my soul, which you should know better than to try, as I have no soul I am aware of,” said the handsome blond Vampire. “How about some revenge sex? It would really piss Bill off to know you have replaced him with me.”
“No thank you,” I said. “Eric, would you do me a favor?”
“If I can,” he said.
“Could you leave me the fuck alone so I can cry,” I asked. Eric frowned and shook his head and came over to me and pulled me up to his chest. I began to cry and he held me and rocked me.

“You are my best friend,” he said. “I am sorry Bill has broken your heart. You really should have listened to him when he said Vampires always hurt those they love the most.”
“You have never hurt me,” I snuffled, snotting on his clean tee shirt.
“I am going to have change tee shirts aren’t I?” he said. He pulled me back a little. “Yeah, you know Renee cried on me too, so that is okay.” He pulled me back against him and he said nothing. “I have hurt you Aslinn, I am always on the make, I made fun of Bill and I did things to try and make you like me more than him. I should have left him alone.”
“You did all those things to him because of Sookie,” I said.
“I don’t like Bill Compton, so I would have done that anyway, without Sookie Stackhouse,” he said. “I have been at Bill’s throat since I met him.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because he doesn’t like who he is, and he is too much of a coward to end it,” said Eric.
“You are a happy Vampire,” I said. He chuckled.
“Yes, I am. I do love my being Vampire. I sacrificed a lot being who I am, but I am content and unashamed,” he said. “It makes life interesting to be who you are with no apologies, to live and know the world at night. But Bill will be back, he loves you and Renee.”
“Not as much as he does Sookie, and I don’t want to be a substitute for her,” I said.
“Then don’t,” he said. “Be yourself, don’t let him bring you down. I am working up a story for Samhain to tell at the fire. Are we really giving candy away to little humans who come begging?”
“We are,” I said. “What are you dressing as?”
“What I always dress as,” he said. “A Vampire.”
“Boring,” I said. “Dress up as something else.”
“How about a Viking Vampire?” he asked.
“How about the Frankenstein monster,” I said. He shook his head.
“Grey green is not my best color,” he said.
“I think that grave yard green is kind of hot,” I said.
Oh yeah? Maybe I will give it some thought if you and my sister wives will paint my whole body that color,” he said, grinning.
“You only need your face and neck and hands,” I said.
“I want to go for realism, get into the character,” he said, leading me out of the room.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Well, I have to change my tee shirt,” he said. “Barrister’s house keeper is going to have wash two more tee shirts than is necessary, this was my fresh tee shirt after Renee got my first tee shirt snotty, now you have done it to this one.”
“Easy Eric, I just cried on yours a little, I could blow my nose on it,” I said.
“Please, just use the tail of my tee shirt,” he said. “I hate that warm gooey sensation on my chest.”
“No thanks,” I said.
“So what are you dressing up as for Samhain?” he asked.
“I was thinking of embracing the stereotype,” I said.
“Boring…you could be a Vampire,” he said. “In fact, it would please me to no end to help you get into character.”
“What like join the Monster Squad for real?” I asked.
“Sure, wouldn’t that be a hoot?” he asked.
“Did you really say that?” I asked, as we went into his room.
“Yeah, I heard James say it and I have been trying it on for size,” he said. “Expanding my vocabulary.” I stopped at the door as he walked on into his room.
“Don’t do that, your vocabulary is fine as it is,” I said.

“It would really bite Bill’s ass,” he said, going into the closet and selecting another tee shirt, this one with Black Sabbath on it.
“Nope, he already knows that if I take the immortal plunge that you would be the one for me,” I said. “You know what to do.”
“That I do,” he said, walking into the bathroom. He threw the used tee shirt on the bed and came out and was stretching the tee shirt over his shoulders. “Are you through crying, because if you aren’t I will keep my shirt off.”
“Yeah, you don’t want me to snot on your bare chest,” I said. “God, Eric, you are a beautiful creature.”
“I am,” he said. “So what else can you be for Samhain?”
“How about I be Frankenstein and you be the monster,” I said.
“We could do it Rocky Horror style…I have gold colored speedos,” he said.
“See, why did I know you did,” I said. “I don’t think Barrister would like for me to wear a corset and stockings.”
“He could too,” said Eric.
“Nah, you look like you would enjoy it too much,” I said.
“Barrister has nice legs,” he said nodding in agreement. He fiddled around in the room, brushing out his hair and straightening his shirt. “Renee could dress up in a corset and stockings and her stillies,” said Eric. “Then we could take a picture of us all gadded up in our underwear and send it to Bill.”
“Now that would be a hoot,” I said. He came up to me and cupped my face in his big hands.
“You still love him, don’t you?” asked Eric. I nodded.
“Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear, And the rocks melt wi' the sun; And I will luve thee still, my dear, While the sands o' life shall run.” I quoted the Robert Burns poem I had read so long ago.
“My poor little Aslinn, what shall I do with you,” he said. He leaned down and kissed my cheeks. “Come, we should watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show and get inspired.” He and I walked out of his room and headed for the stairs. “How about priest and naughty nun?”
“You already did Father Wattawaste,” I said.
“Oh yeah, I did,” he said. “How about….”

The Adventures of Ganga Gin By Renee

Nighttime, several hours before Aslinn's conversations with the vampires......,

The house was quiet as most of the occupants were either sleeping or indulging in nocturnal delights that would only cease with the rising of the sun.  James sat alone in the drawing room, softly strumming his guitar and humming quietly as he searched for the words that would meld with the notes and tell the stories of  his heart.  Perhaps he would write a song for Jessica, she was completely different compared to vampires he had known over the decades.  His reverie was interrupted by raised voices echoing up from the light tight wing of the house.

“Do not follow me!” Renee roared “I swear William Erasmus Compton if you take one more step I‘ll say something I don‘t want to!”  A door slammed and a somewhat disheveled Renee stormed into the drawing room and, ignoring James’ presence, headed for the table where the cut glass bottles of liquor were kept.

James stayed seated, holding his guitar, as he stared open mouthed at the woman who was now moving bottles while muttering something about tequila and cell phones.  She was a vision, that was for sure, her red hair was tangled and tumbled around her shoulders, she was wearing a deep purple negligee that had obviously been chosen to gain the attention of her vampire although it’s current condition was less than pristine, with rumples and a rip or two not to mention blood from what was obviously an improperly sealed bite staining the bodice.

“Um, Renee?” he said as she continued to rummage amongst the bottles.

“Screw it,” she growled “it’ll have to be a faerie vagina special” as she poured a generous amount of gin into a glass and topped it with a splash of tonic.

James cleared his throat, “Renee, are you ok?”

She gave a small shriek as she turned to face him “Fuck me!  You scared the dickens out of me.”

“Sorry,” he said in his calm voice “are you ok?  I mean you’re bleeding.”

“Shit!” she cursed and ran to look in the decorative mirror that hung on the wall nearest the door “I’m going to smash that freaking cell phone!  No, I’m going to find a really good hacker and have his service cancelled.  No, I’m going to shove it up his arse sideways!” she fumed as she grabbed several tissues from a box conveniently located on the table under the mirror and began dabbing at the stains and the offending fang marks.

Struggling not to laugh at her inventive ranting, James walked over to the fuming redhead and piercing his fingertip with a fang said “Here, let me” and gently healed the marks.  “What happened?” he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

“I’m sure you already know,” Renee sighed

“Well,” he said quietly “you two obviously had some sort of disagreement.”

Renee made a derisive snort as headed for the desk that held a communal desktop and began to rifle through the drawers, “One could say it was a disagreement” she said as she searched.  Obviously, her search had been rewarded when she turned holding one of the ‘extra special’ cigarettes they occasionally indulged in if Minnie hadn’t baked recently.

James cocked an eyebrow as she swiftly lit the cigarette and said “Renee?  Really?”

Inhaling, and speaking with that odd voice smokers of the herb often used “A Wiccan of my acquaintance described it once as Mother Nature’s Valium and since I’m already indulging in the faerie vagina special it’s better than the pharmaceutical version.”

“Why do you call a gin and tonic a vagina special?’ he asked.

Renee chuckled darkly as she exhaled the pungent smoke, “It’s the drink of choice of a certain pain in my ass who doesn’t know if she’s gonna stake it, break it, or fuck it.”  She took a sip of her drink and turned towards the doorway as Bill walked in, fully clothed.  “Oh look, “ she said raising her glass to her lover “here’s her trifecta now and to be precise, it’s a  faerie vagina special.”

Bill looked somewhat nonplussed, “Renee, you know I prefer that you not denigrate Sookie.”

“Oh really?” she hissed “and you expect me to suck up everything that bitch has done to you?  Damnit Bill!!!  She even staked you!!”

“She didn’t harm me, Lilith;s blood protected me,” he said roughly.

“Well she damn well didn’t know that!  I don’t care that she was trying to protect Eric,” at this point tears filled her eyes “you could have met the true death Bill!  Don’t you understand my love?  She could have taken you from us and wouldn’t have given more than a passing thought to who she hurt by her actions.”

“Renee!” Bill said sharply.

“I held her in my arms Bill, and comforted her while she cried over Warlow.  Do you honestly think she’d have done the same for me?  She had that mystical bond with his faepire ass,  how could you complete? “ she growled “Huh?  How?  He‘s still dead though, isn‘t he?  Because he went mad with her machinations.  I feel sorry for the poor fucker myself.”

“That is quite enough Renee!” Bill’s irritation was becoming evident.

“Did her pussy light up for you Bill?  When you fucked her? Is that what makes her precious faerie vagina so addictive?” Renee shrieked.

James wished he could be anywhere but in this room with the troubled lovers, it was obvious to him that Renee didn’t react well to gin and ganja combined.  He almost expected her hair to whirl around her like something out of an old B rated movie.

Renee took a deep breath, “I know that book you’re working on getting published is a big draw but she draws you even more.  You pulled away from me in bed Bill, while we were together,” her voice cracked with the pain and anguish she struggled to keep down  “I knew the ringtone was Sam’s, I know you’ve been talking to him and getting updates on her along with whatever you’re cooking up together.  You chose your phone and the impetus behind that call over me.  Damnit Bill!  James had to heal my neck!  Do you even realize what that did to me?”

Bill’s eyes turned to the younger vampire, “You touched her?” he growled as his fangs dropped.

“Oh no,” she said stepping in front of him “you don’t have the right to go all ‘she’s mine’ on him.  He saw I needed help and didn‘t hesitate.”

Bill reached out and clasped Renee’s arms, “Sweetheart, I  have to talk to you.”

Renee looked up into the blue eyes she loved so very much, “You’re finally going to tell me that you’re leaving?  You think I didn’t know?  Didn’t know that besides leaving for that book, you’re also going to her?”  The tears that had threatened finally began to slide down her cheeks, “I’ve laid the cards so many times and gotten the same answers, I’ve cast the runes and gotten the same results.”

“Sweetheart, I don’t know if I’m going,” he said.

“Don’t lie to me Bill, do anything but lie to me,” she whispered.

As James attempted to extricate himself from both the room and the uncomfortable tableaux playing out before him, he was stopped  by Eric who had been standing in the doorway watching the drama unfold.  “You don’t want to miss a second of this James,” he smirked “lets see if he can pull his ass out of the fire this time.”

“Eric,” Bill snarled “you have no place in this.  Get out!”

“Really?” Eric purred with a sardonic smile “I think I very much have a place in this, in fact perhaps I’ll take your place since you are intent on abandoning Renee.  You’ll come to me, won’t you Renee?  You know you want to.”

Renee turned towards the Viking saying brokenly, “Eric, don‘t.”

Bill’s temper flared, “You will not go to Eric, Renee.  You are mine!”

These words were like tinder to a flame, Renee whirled and slapped his face with such force that he staggered back from her.  “How dare you!” she shrieked “you think I would be so faithless and fickle that I’d go from your bed to Eric’s?  I’m not the one who’s being faithless here!  Go to your precious Sookie!  Go to her from my bed but, do not think you will be welcomed back when that bitch casts you aside again!”

She headed towards the door and seeing the drink that she had put down upon the table picked it up and hurled the glass and contents at her lover.  Bill darted to the side, barely avoiding the resultant mess as the glass shattered against the wall.

Eric laughed, “Aslinn and Barrister are not going to be happy with you Renee.”

“They’ll put it on my tab,” she said her voice beginning to slur from the combination of gin, ganja, and grief.

This outburst had the effect Renee had been seeking, Bill stood apart, silent, watching as James moved forward to help her leave the room.  Her words wafted back to him as she swayed down the hall clutching James’s arm.

“Sweet cheeks,” she said “we need to go to the kitchen, I need some ice.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked aware that the vampires they had left were listening intently as they glared at each other.

“That glass wasn’t the only thing broken, my hand hurts like a bitch,” she looked up into his face, “you’re such a sweet boy, remind me to tell Jessica how sweet you are.”

“Boy?” he said a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Yeppers,” she said “and right now I feel old enough to be your momma.”

“Oh come now Renee,” came Eric’s voice from the hall “you don’t seem old enough to be Kellie’s mother and certainly not James‘s mother.”

Renee turned and watched Eric come into the room while James took a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and placed it on her swollen hand, “Where is Bill?” she asked as her eyes filled again.

Eric gathered her in his arms, holding her to his chest as he supported the bag of peas on her hand, “I’m sorry Renee, he’s gone to pack.  He plans to speak to Aslinn before he leaves.”

She burrowed into his embrace and began to weep stormily for several minutes.  Once her tears began to subside she looked over to James who seemed to be destined to be the witness to her troubles tonight, “James, you’re going to have to be there for Jessica.  This is going to hurt her badly and she’ll need you.”

“She’s spending the evening with Barrister,” he said “but I’ll be there when she rises and learns that Bill has gone.”

“An excellent plan,” said Eric “you should head off to your room in case she goes to rest early.”

As James left the room Eric looked down at Renee, “Now then, you should go to bed as well, you’ve had a difficult night.”

“I am tired,” she said “but I don’t know if I will be able to sleep, my mind is racing.”

“I have a cure for that,” he grinned “sex with me will make it all go away.”

“I’ve already beaten the shit out of one hand Eric,” she said “don’t make me break the other one punching you in your junk.”

He laughed and picked her up, “I’ll take you to your room and tuck you in.”

“Ok,” she acquiesced “but no funny business.”

“Of course not,” he said although his expression belied his words.

“Eric,” she said as he began to carry her up the staircase “sometime, remind me that ganja and gin isn’t a good look for me.”

“Noted,” he said “but I must admit that the effects on your temper makes for an entertaining evening, as long as it’s not directed at me.”   As he looked down into her troubled and tear stained face he thought that  soon, very soon he and Mr. Compton were going to have a long discussion about the women who loved him and his recent treatment of them.  This promised to be an interesting conversation, very interesting, very interesting indeed but then, it’s always nice to have something to look forward to.

Girls Night Out

I had been to London many times but never with someone like Pam. She was a force of nature as she shopped, wielding Eric’s black AMEX card like a mighty sword. She had bags and bundles with her full of clothes and shoes and a few things Eric told her to pick up. I suspected it was not a set of silky boxers with smiley faces on them.

We stopped at Blood and Donuts. It was the Vampire equivalent of a tea shop. They served tea and coffee and they did have donuts, but they also served Red Ale and Bloody Shamrock, a cheap blood substitute Pam would not even look at. We pulled together a few of the tables and pulled the chairs around. We ordered Red Ale for the fanged set and tea and coffee and the pastry plate for the humans. Jessica was pouting because number one, Kellie had gone to Surrey to hide out from some pretty narrow minded Vampires back home, and James said he would hang out with the boys and do the manly thing, which was watch the soccer games and drink beer and blood and listen to Bill’s phone ring and his footfalls as he went upstairs and out of the mancave. Each time it happened, Eric’s eyes were narrowed as he watched the blur that was Bill go upstairs. I was not sure if he was irritated on mine and Renee’s account or if he was just irritated.

But I was not concerned with Bill, I was happy to be in London with Pam. Pam is a toothsome gal with a thousand watt sense of humor. Her cutting edge sarcasm was something she shared with Tara who had her own brand of humor and Willa was a little shy, nothing like her maker, and nothing like her big sister. She was a little romantic and though she had joined me in reading the Black Dagger Brotherhood, she insisted Phury was the most romantic fictional Vampire she had ever read. Renee and I rolled our eyes about that, we thought Phury needed a high colonic. Pam had to agree but then she liked Payne and Xhex.

“So Bill has been neglecting you girls,” said Pam.
“Yeah, I am about to run a stake through his phone,” said Renee. “At least when he was possessed by Lilith, he was interesting in a scary way.” I said nothing. I was glad that Bill was back, but I would like to have his attention a little more. I knew in my heart he was on his way back to Bon Temps, and very likely he would go before we did. Eric was holding firm. He wanted an English Yule and New Years. Then we could head back to America and he would deal with what was going on at Shreveport. As far as he could tell, the bar was okay, still closed and he made sure there was cash enough to pay his waitresses and Chow who were taking care of the property.
“I bought Eric a nice gift for Yule,” said Jessica.
“Oh yeah? What did you get him?” asked Tara.
“I got him a new wallet,” she said. “He needs one, I saw how worn out his was the other night when Pam got his card.”
“Excellent choice,” said Pam. “I got him some silk shirts, he always likes silk shirts.”
“I ordered him something,” said Minnie. “But I don’t know that he will like it.”
“What did you get him Minnie dear?” asked Pam. Pam liked Minnie though she was the polar opposite of her. I think it is all the times she saw Minnie whip around with a Glock 9 mm in her hand guarding her maker’s back.
“I ordered him a matched pair of pistols with mother of pearl grips in a double shoulder holster,” she said.
“Oh, he will love them,” said Pam.
“I know a guy who makes fine firearms, so I ordered them a while back. I had Alcide pick them up and send them here, I just hope they make it through customs,” she said.
“Did you send it by Anubis Air Post?” asked Pam.
“Yes,” she said.
“Then you should have no trouble,” she said. “They don’t search Air Anubis packages, as Renee well knows.”
“Man, that moose stew you made was delicious,” I said to Renee.
“Well, I don’t know what I am going to get Eric or Bill,” said Aolani.
“Lumps of coal for Bill Compton,” said Renee, still seething. “I got Eric some Viking music, some band called Norse Storm, they do the traditional stuff then they hit some pretty hard core heavy metal stuff.”
“I got Eric something for his garden,” I said. “I found a great statute of Odin for his garden.”
“What did you get Bill?” asked Willa.
“I got him some cds and books and I got him a book of military weaponry,” I said.
“I still have not bought him anything,” said Renee.
“I bought Bill a leather coat,” said Jessica.
“Eric would look good in leather,” said Willa.
“He looks great in anything,” said Minnie.
“Even undershorts with smiley faces?” asked Tara.
“Especially in under shorts with smiley faces,” said Minnie.
“I have no idea what to get Bill or Eric,” said Tara.
“What did you get me?” asked Pam
“I’m not telling,” she said. Renee and I had helped Tara buy an outfit for Pam, in her usual classy midcentury style.
“So what would you like for Christmas Willa?” asked Aolani.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe another romantic Vampire series to read.”
“Um…you have it bad, we need to find you a boyfriend,” said Jessica.
“There is someone I like very much but I know he doesn’t like me that way,” she said.
“Who?” asked Jessica.
“I can’t tell you that,” she said.
“Well if it is Phury, you would have to shove a stick of dynamite under his ass to get him to kiss you…or you would have to make the first move,” said Renee.
“Maybe you should take your own advice,” said Pam.
“Oh yeah?” she said.
“Shove a stick of dynamite in Bill’s ass,” said Pam.
"Under, Pam, under his ass," I said.
"In, under...it's all the same to me," said Pam.

Patience is a Virtue

Oh, lend me your ear
While I call you a fool
You were kissed by a witch
One night in the wood

And later insisted
Your feelings were true
The witches promise was coming
Believing he listened
While laughing you flew

Leaves falling, red, yellow, brown
All look the same
And the love you have found
Lay outside in the rain

Washed clean by the water
But nursing its pain
The witches promise was coming
And you're looking elsewhere
For your own selfish gain

Keep looking, keep looking
For somewhere to be
Well, you're wastin' your time
They're not stupid like he is

Meanwhile leaves are still falling
You're too blind to see
You won't find it easy now
It's only fair

But he was willing to give to you
But you didn't care
You're waiting for more
But you've already had your share

The witches promise is turning
So don't wait up for him
He's going to be late

The Witches Promise- Jethro Tull

We were up and getting ready t o go and visit the witches of Harrow. Renee and Kellie were with us, though I did not know how long she would be with us. Something was up and I was worried about her. But we were dressing warmly to go and be at a little meet and greet. I thought there would be no problem with making their acquaintance. The only hitch in this plan was Bill was not coming with us. He was busy with the book and I was getting fed up as Renee with the time he was spending away from us. Even he and I had bickered and I ended up sleeping on the couch while Barrister was with his Vampire honey. I was sad but more than that I was mad.

Eric was still up roaming around. He sat down on the chaise and looked at me. "I like it here," he said.
"I'm glad you like it here," I said. "This is your home away from home."
"You have to be patient with Bill," he said.
"Giving me advice on my love life Eric?" I asked.
"Nope, just making an observation," he said. "Frankly, the quicker you and Renee break up with him, the sooner you both can be mine."
"Forget it, I have a human husband who tolerates this relationship with Bill. If I break it off with Bill...."
"Or in Bill," he said.
"Well Renee may break it off in him...I won't," I said.
"She certainly swept Kellie into her room for the night," said Eric, a little disappointed.
"Eric, you should be really careful with Renee...she may decide to break it off in you," I said. When it came to her chick, she was ruthless. Eric laughed.
"So tomorrow night, we will meet these witches?" he asked.
"Yeah, you know they are training Vampires to be witches here. Why is it such a big deal in America," I asked.
"In many ways, the American Vampires are not as forward thinking as the European Vampires," said Eric. "But then there are some things European Vampires would not approve of."
"I guess so," I said.
"Did you enjoy your trip to London?" he asked.
"I did," I said. "But I am always glad to come home."
"I think that is what I like about this house and this little village. I like the quiet and the peace," he said. "I can see why you are always anxious to be here."
"I know we have to go back to Bon Temps after Christmas and New Years," I said.
"Yes, I have to decide what to do with Fangtasia, and really, in some ways though I hate to say it, I think Bill is right, I think something bad is about to happen in Bon Temps and we need to be there," said Eric. "I was reading that medical journal article Barrister's father brought over about the Hep V epidemic. It is mutating."
"Yeah and I guess all the healthy Vampires need to get over there and try and clean out the sick ones and protect the healthy ones and the humans," I said.
"We do," he said. He rubbed his eyes.
"Your eyes still bugging you big guy?" I asked.
"Yes," he said. "I think I got a little sun burn on my retinas but they will be okay. I see fine, they just get tired."
"Maybe you should see that ophthalmologist Dr. Sweeney recommended," I said. "It is not good to play loose and fast with your eyes."
"I know, I will," he said.
"Only if I put a load of dynamite up your butt and blow you to the doctor's office," I said.
"You know me so well," he said. "Aslinn, I don't think I can express how much gratitude I have that you and the others came after me. When I began to burn, I thought...this is it...this is when I die but I fell into the snow and it covered me somewhat though I still burned. When the sun went down, I crawled into that cave, still thinking I was going to die and Godric came to me and told me you were on your way. I didn't believe him."
"Eric, I was prepared to whatever it took to bring you back. I was even prepared to resurrect you, using that spell," I said.
"Please, don't ever do that. You know, everything has to die, sometime, everything has to die. It is unnatural for us to live as long as we do, there is no end to our personal pain when we lose...." he stopped and swallowed. "When we lose people we love. We mourn for as long as we are on the earth. Death, as you well know, is sometimes a mercy."
"I wasn't done being your friend yet," I said. "I could not just let you disappear and not try everything in my power to bring you back." Eric said nothing and then he inhaled deeply.
"Go easy on Bill," he said. "He has a lot to atone for. Maybe this is a part of his own process. I know you still love him, but he has to do whatever it is he is doing, and maybe we need to let him...lay the groundwork for what will happen."
"Okay," I said.
"He is downstairs alone," he suggested.
"You think he will have me back?" I asked.
"Well, if he doesn't, I have plenty of room in my bed," he said.
"You are too easy," I said.
"Good night Aslinn," he said.
"Good night Big Viking,"I said.

Fangers and Megs

Fangers and Megs was a Vampire /Human Pub in Harrow where we sometimes went for a glass of beer, some pretty good fish and chips and the newest in British Vampire Blood Substitute called Red Ale. It was put out by Guinness Breweries but we knew it was just rebranded Tru:Blood. The original corporation had sold the rights to the formula and Guinness and Harp and Smithwicks were getting into the bottled blood business and we knew that Coors and Budweiser was preparing to do the same thing. It would take a long time, but it would eventually be accepted by the fanged set in America.

The UK brands were embraced with a relief. We made orders for an ample supply to hold our Vampires in healthy substitute blood for a long while. Bill was constantly on the phone with the States but I was not that interested in what he was doing and I think it hurt his feelings I was not nosy about his phone calls. The few times we had spent in the light tight room in Barrister’s manor house had been punctuated with short quickly staked discussions about what he was planning to do back in the states. Personally, I don’t think anyone but him was in a hurry to return to America. Even Eric was unconcerned.

James and Jessica were at the juke box, running through the list on the juke box. F and M’s jukebox had everything from early baroque and chamber music to rap and hip hop. Jessica had become interested in hippy music. I called her the ‘throwback’. That was when a young girl or guy would embrace the music and culture of another time and because of her boyfriend, she was a flower child, though she did trade in her broomstick skirts for miniskirts and go-go boots. I could see her in a cage at the Whiskey and James had promised to take her to San Francisco when things were okay. Lately, the HepV infected Vampires had been biting the noninfected Vampires to force them into their ranks and the virus was mutating. It was terrible. It made the difference between the traditional zombie and the Vampire very thin.

“What are you thinking about so hard dearest?” I looked up and looked directly into the grey orbs of Eric Northman. He looked great considering he had been found a crispy critter a few weeks ago. Now he was elegantly slouched in a Who Quadrophenia t-shirt and jeans and lace up boots.
“Nothing at all,” I said. “We need to go to London and get some shopping done,” I said. “I have done all the shopping I can do on line and now I have to go to London. Anyone interested?”
“I want to go…can we go to SoHo? I hear they have a lot of great shops,” said Jessica, scooting back to her seat. James slid into his chair with her. Barrister looked a little impatient. He had not been with Jess since James had come into the picture, but I was afraid it was going to take a while longer for some of the gold to get rubbed off him. Right now, he was it for Jessica.
“Absolutely,” I said. “We need to go to the Black Cat’s Cauldron anyway.”
“Yes, I am out of everything,” said Aolani. Pam was telling Renee that she wanted to go to Harrods and do some real shopping and then nudged Eric and said she would need his black AMEX card so she could go properly shopping, this Harrow town and country look was okay, but she missed her Louboutans and her a-lined skirts and custom made underwear. Eric wiggled around and slid his wallet out and gave her one of his AMEX cards and Pam snatched another card and he rolled his eyes.

“Women rob you blind,” said Eric.
“You need to hang out with the dudes more, Eric, we spend less money and we don’t care if you wear designer panties,” said Len.
“That’s right,” said Barrister. “You needn’t wear that frilly silky stuff for us.”
“Good because I don’t wear any underwear,” said the bold Viking. Minnie giggled. “Oh alright, sometimes I do, but hush you.”
“Did he wear sexy bloomers for you Minnie?” asked Renee, who wanted something to taunt Eric with.
“No,” she said, still fighting the giggles.
“So what did he wear like speedos or something?” I asked. Eric squinted his eyes at me and took a drink of his Red Ale.
“He wears silky underwear with smiley faces on them,” she said, laughing at his scowl.
“Well, then I know one little girl who is not going to see my smiley underwear for a long time,” he said.
“Why? You gonna wear the ones with the little devils on them?” asked Pam. Tara and Willa laughed.
“Give me my cards back,” said Eric, wiggling his fingers at her in a come on gesture.
“So sorry,” she said to Eric. “Not.”

Bill’s phone rang again and he stepped away from the table. “There he goes again,” said Renee, looking at Bill’s broad back. Unlike me and Bill who stifle a fight and take it out on one another in the sack, Renee and Bill fought. If Bill were not so much of gentleman, I would worry about Renee, but I knew he would never hurt her.

“Yeah, I have threatened to hold that thing underwater,” I said.
“Who Bill? Oh let me,” said Eric.
“His phone smart ass,” I said. “But I will keep you in mind.” Eric blew me a kiss and I showed him my finger.
“Why is he all about going back to that shit hole anyhow,” said Tara. Bon Temps was not Tara’s place in the world and she was in no hurry to return to it anytime soon. “I like it here.”
“Me too,” said Willa.
“Eventually we will have to go home and look into what might be left,” said Eric. “I have to figure out what to do with Fangtasia and what I am going to next, if I come back to the New World for good, or if I come back here.” Three big Vampires come in and we gave them the hair eyeball. We usually didn’t give other Vampires more than a courtesy glance but we were extremely wary because of the disease. They sat down at a table and then spotted us and stood up and came back toward us.

“Uh oh,” said Pam.
“You know the rules,” said Aolani.
“What rule?” asked Tara.
“Vampires don’t say uh oh,” I said in low voice.
“Cheers,” said the first Vampire. He was about Eric’s height and he was about as broad and he sported something of a gut but he looked healthy. “I’m Reggy, I’m the magistrate around here.”
“We are sorry, we don’t know the rules around here for visiting Vampires,” said Eric. “I’m Eric Northman.”
“And you pretty lady, what might your name be?” If you wrote that phonetically you would hear this: An’ YEW Priddy LayDee wot might yer NIME bay?
“I’m Pam, his daughter, and this is my daughter Tara and this is my baby sister, Willa,” she said.
“And these two young lovers?” he asked.
“This is Jessica, “ said Bill rejoining our party. “She is my daughter and his is her boyfriend, James.”
“Yanks?” he said.
“Yes, but we are all perfectly healthy,” said Eric.
“Here are the rules and regs like,” he said. “You are not permitted to hunt. You can call a feeding service or you can drink the Red Ale but we don’t allow hunting without authority.”
“And what if, for the sake of argument, we would like to hunt?” asked Eric. I flashed him an ugly look.
“Then it’s the Lord Mayor Vampire Harrow you would need to be seeing,” he said. “And likely he would say no, you being yanks and all. Behave yourself, and you will enjoy your time here. Act up and you will wish you had.”
“Gotcha,” said Eric, winking. Reg walked away.
“Did you burn away the frontal lobe of your damned brain Eric?” I asked in a hiss.
“Sorry, Aslinn, I could not resist,” he said.
“I’ll resist you with the business end of an ash stake,” I said. I gave him a parting glare. “Hey there, the local witches have invited us to the esbat celebrations, wanna go and see what the scene is here?” I asked Aolani.
“Do they mind if Jessica joins us?” asked Aolani.
“Apparently they don’t have those restrictions here in Britain or if they do, they don’t care, they said they had Vampires in their own coven,” I said. “Besides, it would be nice to hook up with some witches for Samhain.”
“It would,” said Aolani.
“Anyone interested in seeing a late movie?” asked Eric. “I’m treating.”
“You buy the tickets, Len and I will buy the snacks,” said Barrister.
“What shall we go see?” he asked.

The phone rang and Bill was up again.

Let me Bring You Songs from the Wood

Let me bring you songs from the wood:
To make you feel much better than you could know...
Hold you steady as you go.
Join the chorus if you can:
It'll make of you an honest man.
Let me bring you love from the field:
Poppies red and roses filled with summer rain.
To heal the wound and still the pain...
Greetings well met fellow, hail!
I am the wind to fill your sail.
I am the cross to take your nail:
A singer of these ageless times.
With kitchen prose and gutter rhymes.
Songs from the wood make you feel much better.

Songs from the Wood- Jethro Tull

I love England in the fall. Everyone talks about England in the spring, but I love her in the fall. It smells crisp and clean and the woods around Barrister’s family estate seemed to whisper to me in the cool breeze: Come and See. So I took off in the early morning, with a light fog on the ground and with my game bag slung across my chest, I set about six wire traps and hunted for morels which grew in the forest and was treasured by chefs all over Europe but was the secret of our home.

I set a trap and sprinkled the dull wire with leaves. I was working my way back to where I started and now I would check my traps. We were covered in rabbits. They were a nuisance but I knew Minnie and Aolani had Thumper Guilt and would never eat of the succulent garden rabbits. The rest would fall on their roasted carcasses like a hungry Vampire. I was now approaching the first trap I had set and there was a big buck rabbit, about six pounds, and I field stripped it and packed away the entrails to dispose of later and laid the naked bunny in my game bag. I followed the path around the meadow where we were taking advantage of the mild temperatures and the basically dry weather before the real weather with its chilling rain and the kisses of frost were too cold to tolerate even in our over done lean toos with real roofs and wooden floors with old faded rugs from the main house and old camp beds made comfortable with those temprapedic mattresses and electricity and wifi…Roughing it we weren’t. We even had a shower house and toilets with hot water and a fridge in the enclosed outdoor kitchen. I could not hear the camp but I knew our Vampires were sleeping in the light tight bungalow we had prepared for them and Eric was well but a bit moody. But he was alive and we would rather have him alive and a little pensive than definitely dead and us mourning a deep loss.

I picked up and cleaned the rabbits as I went, so far a rabbit for every trap. We were getting ready for Mabon, the Wiccan celebration of the second harvest, what some people called Harvest Home. Renee was to be made a witch in the second degree. Jessica, our little witch Vampire, had her plate full during the last season and she was a little behind, but we thought maybe Beltaine or even Yule she would be caught up and we could initiate her into the second degree. She was a quick learner and though we had to tailor her lessons to fit her Vampire energies, she was a dedicated and successful little witch. I hitched up my bag a little and headed to the next trap.

I was wearing a hoodie and a Henley and jeans and my favorite lace up boots. I carried a silver dagger in my boot, a habit of many a Vampire mission, and I carried another knife, a bowie hunting knife. This I used to dispatch the still rambunctious rabbits. The trail was coming back around to the last trap. It was still early morning and I could salt and season my rabbits and put them in the fridge to rest before they were spitted. I prepped the last rabbit, six for six and headed back into the meadow. I walked past the hooch where our Vampires were asleep and into the main camp. There were several camp chairs around and couple of lounges. There was a huge circle of deep sand Barrister had trucked in and a giant fire pit. The sandy circle and the fire pit were surrounded by a raised platform eight feet deep and thirty feet in circumference. We could lounge there on blankets and yoga pads and there were heavy waterproof cushions we could lean back on. Aolani and Len and Barrister were placing leaves around the little table we designated our altar and there were baskets of fruit and the last of the berries and wild flowers and huge orange and gold and purple candles. In the center of the table were the white candles flanking the purple candle we would use for our initiation ceremony. Minnie was standing away to judge the symmetry of the altar decorations. Most of us were Christians but Aolani and Eric and, I suppose, Jessica were pagans.

Minnie passed me the plate of cookies during our tea. The Americans in our group were embracing the ritual of tea. I poured a tea cup for Renee and passed it to her. We would dedicate her initiation ritual in thanks for Eric’s healing and the return of our Bill. He was still haunted and I encouraged him to write about his experience and now the Vampire was pouring all his confusion and angst and final redemption in a book. He often shared chapters with us and we offered advice and cleared up any facts he may have overlooked. He was working it out his own way. But I missed him in our discussion circle. We would sit in the dark meadow, the only light from the fire and talk and tell stories but Bill would sit at the little wooden table in the kitchen area, writing under the bare bulb on his laptop and absorbed completely in his book. We let him be. He was working it out as well as writing about the things that happened in the AVL, his conversion and bringing on the disappearance of Tru:Blood and even contributing of the disaster that was Vamp Camp and the LAVTF. He was confessional and self punishing much of the time.

In England where the Vampire community was surprisingly small, there were no outbreaks of HEP V, so we were relatively safe from sick Vampires but there were hungry Vampires roaming around and they often had to be sent on their way when they heard our voices and smelled our human blood. There had been wolves around, but Len said not to worry, they would avoid us if they could.

The rabbits were roasting on green wood splints by the time our Vampires rose. The first were Jessica and James. It was nice to see her so obviously happy with this young man who was made Vampire some 45 years ago in Haight Ashbury during the late 60’s. He had a guitar with him and he often sang for us in a clean clear tenor voice. He was made Vampire by a pretty little hippy chick who meant only feed him a little peyote and have a little buzz with her supper but he tasted so delicious she could not stop till it was almost too late and she turned him. He traveled with his maker for twenty or so years and they parted ways when she decided to head to a commune in Northwest Canada. He still got cheerful letters from her and she never offered to interfere in his life. James was a pretty well adjusted Vampire and had a good experience with his Vampire life and his maker had been kind and gracious. I think Tara and Willa were a tiny bit jealous of that. But he was getting used to us and the way we accepted him in our little group and he settled in nicely. He liked the Irish songs I sang when we were relaxing and he was learning Stretched On Your Grave and Parting Glass and other Hibernian folk songs. He was even learning some U2 songs. He did Stay and Red Hill Mining Town and Desire. I would sing with him though my voice was a terrible excuse for singing when he sang so well.

The next two Vampires to come out were Tara and Willa. Tara was the Vampire daughter of Pam and Willa was the daughter of Eric, his youngest daughter. She was still pretty pissed at Eric that he left her to begin with. And Tara was still a little pissed at Pam for abandoning her but they were happy Eric was well, and that would ease their anger. Eric and Willa spent time together alone for a little while every evening. Tara was a harder nut to crack.

The next Vampire to come out was Bill. He had his computer under his arm and went into the kitchen where we were cooking to get a precious bottle of Tru:Blood. The Vampires could have hunted, or called the professional feeders but they declined the offer. Dr. Ludwig sent a number and referral for the local Hobbit, Dr. Sweeney. I don’t think she was a real Hobbit, but since I didn’t really know what she was, Hobbit was what I called her and her various counterparts all over the world. Dr. Sweeney had ordered Eric to have one human blood meal once a week and the agency sent a feeder to the house.

The next Vampire who came out was Pam. She looked great in jeans and a Fangtasia tee shirt and tennis shoes and a zip front hoodie. Finally her maker came out. Eric was neatly dressed in an oatmeal colored Ayran sweater and jeans and tennis shoes. Minnie brought him a Tru:Blood and he kissed her warmly. He did not speak to Bill. His grief was still profound and whether he was right or wrong to do so he still blamed Bill for not saving Nora. We said nothing about the rift. We were in no position to defend Bill about anything he did or did not do. We just hoped things would work out.
Pam came and sat at the kitchen table, pointedly ignoring Bill. She did not like Bill particularly but she did not precisely hate him. He had, after all, saved them from the burning light of the sun. She said it had been wonderful to move around in the day but she said one could not dwell on what was but to look forward to the future. Pam was an optimist and a realist and she was a sunny disposition if you can forgive me the obvious contradiction in terms.

“What’s for supper?” she asked.
“For you, Tru:Blood in a bottle, for us, roast rabbit and stuffing and rice and a salad and wine and some cookies after the Ritual,” I said.
“Ritual, what kind of Ritual?” asked James. He had not been with us for long but because of what he did for both Jessica and Bill we were happy to include him in our eccentric little family. He was just learning about us and we let him discover things as he went along as far the world of the House where we had been living for the past year on and off.
“Renee, Aslinn and Jessica and I are witches,” explained Aolani. “It is the celebration of Mabon, Harvest Home, and we are initiating her to the second degree.”
“You are a witch?” asked James, looking at Jessica.
“Yeah, do you mind?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Not at all, I just didn’t know.”

That was another thing about James, he just didn’t care much what we were or what we believed so long as he could stick around with Jessica. She was dressed like a little throw back. I let her raid my closet and she was wearing a pretty white peasant top with Dutch Tyrolean delph blue designs and a denim full tail skirt and lace up moccasin boots and my aluminum silver tone bracelets and hoop earrings with tiny bells. James thought she was awful cute dressed as a hippy girl. All that was missing was the smell of patchouli and cannabis.

Len turned suddenly and his eyes glowed. Eric and Bill and Pam became alert with Tara and Jess and James and Willa filling in the ranks. Four figures were standing on the periphery of our camp. “Heart beats,” said Pam. “Not Vampires.”
“Weres,” said Len. “Come forward.” The figures came into the light of the fire and the torches that were lit around our camp.
“I know them, but I did not know they are were,” said Barrister. “They are from the estate next door, the Staffords.”
“Ah, Michael, there you are,” said the older man. “Charles Stafford.” He came up to us and looked at the group. “Brother.” He acknowledged Len as one of his own.
“Len,” said Barrister. “This is Charles Stafford, his wife Elaine, his children Carradine and Robert.” Charles was a tall rangy man with the ruddy skin of a man who liked the outdoors and horses. Elaine was an elegant sort, I thought maybe we had met at one of the numerous occasions we had worked on parties and fund raisers. I had met so many of Barrister’s mum’s friends I could not keep them straight. “This is my wife Aslinn, and our friends, Len, who you have met, and his wife Aolani, and Renee, and Minnie,” he pointed to each of us.
“And the Vampires, they have names?” he asked. You could tell he was anxious to meet these people.
“These are our friends, Eric, his daughters Pam and Willa, and his granddaughter Tara. This is Bill and his daughter Jessica and James her boyfriend.” The were was sniffing the air.
“I beg your pardon, but we have scented a Vampire in the woods and we did not recognize the scent. It did not smell of any of the local Vampires,” said the were, though he stared at Eric a long time. “Though he does smell something like you.” He nodded toward Eric.
“I have been recovering from a severe injury and I am not quite myself,” said Eric.
“Still isn’t your scent,” the boy said. Robert was 18 and thin like his dad and elegant of features like his mom. “Carradine and I were concerned, with the troubles with the Vampires.”
“None of us are ill, like I have explained, I had been injured, burned actually in the sun and I have been healing,” explained Eric.
“He meant nothing by it,” said the wolf. “Just be careful, especially you humans, you don’t want to be Vampire food.”
“We know,” I said. “Would you all like something to drink, beer, wine, tea?”
“That would be lovely,” he said. “Carradine, would you help your mother and Aslinn in preparing us some drinks.” Carradine shot her father a look that suggested she would rather eat a dead walrus’s anus than help with drinks while her brother got to play big bad werewolf, but she followed her mother as we walked toward the kitchen.
The rest of the group took places around the fire, new weres sitting close to the edge of the fire. “From where do you hail Len?” asked the were.
“I live in Washington State. I belong to the Moon Runner Pack,” he said. “But I am an associate to the Long Tooth pack in Shreveport, Louisiana.”
“I ‘m the Packmaster to the Harrow Collective,” he said. “We call ourselves collectives here.”
“Good to know you,” said Len.
“Are all of you yanks?” asked Charles.
“Yes, most of our friends are from the US. All of our Vampires are from Northern Louisiana, some in a round about way, and of course Aslinn is a British Citizen now,” said Barrister.
“Is that witchcraft in the air I scent?” asked Robert.
“There could be,” said Len.
“I told you dad, they won’t want to admit to much,” said Robert.
“Robert, let’s give them the doubt,” said Charles. “We had some trouble with the witchcraft community around here over the right to hunt around what they considered their worship place. They failed to understand we owned the land they celebrated their Sabats on.”
“We have only been here a week,” said Bill, still not admitting anything.
“Just checking, can’t be too careful,” said Charles. He eyed Eric again. “What is it about you I can’t sort out.”
“I am a very old Vampire,” he said.
“There is more than that,” said the were. Eric shrugged.
“How long have you been scenting this strange Vampire?” asked Bill.
“For about the last week,” he said. “We suspect it has been hunting the deer.”
“Vampires don’t drink animal blood, we can’t,” said Jessica.
“We didn’t say it had been fed upon, just killed and the head taken and set up in some sort of strange way,” said Charles.
“In what way?” asked Eric.
“Like it was some sort of offering. We thought maybe it was witches,” offered Charles.
“Witches would not kill an animal,” said Aolani. “The deer are physical representations of the Horned God.”
“I just thought it was strange,” said the were. “Especially with the scent of Vampire on it.”
“Vampires do like to chase animals, but we would not kill it,” said Eric. “But none of us have been in the woods.” We ladies had returned with cold sodas and beers and another round of Tru:Blood for the Vampires and we sat down to listen to the talk. I could tell Charles was a little pensive.
“Could you come out in the woods with us and see what we are talking about?” asked Charles.
“We could do that,” said Len. Eric and Bill stood up.
“Pam, you and Jessica and Tara and Willa stay here and watch the camp, we should be back soon,” said Eric.

In the dark of the woods, the weres and Vampires moved carefully but not exactly quietly among the trees and talked. “How long are you staying?” asked Charles.

“I suppose until Michael decides he is thoroughly sick of us lounging around on his estate,” said Eric.
“Very likely at least through Christmas,” said Bill. “We have had a long year, we are looking for downtime.”
“This is a good place for that,” said Charles. “Here is the carcass, then the head is up there on the boulder.” They stood there and studied the rock and the head and the area. Eric flared his nostrils and scented the Vampire’s smell.
“Strange,” he said. Eric moved around the stone and looked at the stone and positioning of the deer’s head. He stood there and then looked all around him. “I will be right back, don’t move.” He blurred away into the tree line and came back about ten minutes later.
“What do you think Eric?” asked Bill.
“I am not for sure,” he said. “Let’s go back, I don’t like being away from our friends. You can rest assured you will not have any trouble out of our group, we are living on Tru:Blood presently and our witches do not have a problem with you and yours.”
“We’ll walk back with you then,” he said.

After the neighbors left, we had our initiation and celebrated and we made plans to clean up the camp and move back to the house, we were ready for the start of the holidays and celebrating with our family.

Lightening Crashes

On the night Warlow died, Pam came to the House and pounded frantically on our door. We let her in and she looked at us. “What the fuck happened to me?”
“Warlow is dead, you no longer have your UV protection,” I said.
“Eric?” she asked.
“You haven’t felt him?” asked Minnie, her large eyes brimming with tears.
“I can’t swear to it, but I think I felt something,” she said.
“Is he dead?” asked Barrister, asking the question none of us wanted to ask.
“I don’t know,” she said. “I don’t know if he is dead or just hurt.”
“Where in Sweden would he go?” I asked.
“He would go to Are, that windswept shit hole he loves so much,” she said. “But I could never find him.”
“Yes you can,” I said. There was a frantic pounding on the door. Jessica and James came in.
“What has happened to us?” she asked.
“You are no longer sun proof, you are now nightwalkers again,” said Len.
“Is everyone okay?” she asked.
“We don’t know about Eric,” I said.
“Well what are we going to do?” she said. “Where is he?”
“We know he is in Sweden, and we are going to go and find him,” I said. “Barrister, call Anubis Air and get us tickets to Stockholm and contact the Vampire embassy and that hotel we stayed in a couple of summers ago and make us reservations. Renee, call Dr. Ludwig and ask her what we can do to treat a Vampire who maybe partially burned and frozen.”
“I will call the wolves in Stockholm and make arrangements to get us on that mountain,” said Len.
“Aolani, I want you to go upstairs under our bed and pack that natron and all the herbs and all the Vampire Book of the Dead, not the one we had published with that crazy Vampire, the one we took from that Renfield,” I said.
“You can’t mean you are going to…”said Aolani.
“Yeah, I will resurrect him if I have to,” I said. “I won’t let the world be without Eric. I wouldn’t have let it with Bill, I won’t let it for Eric.”
“But won’t that make Eric crazy like Dracula?” asked Jessica.
“No, I don’t think so,” I said. Aolani did not like it but she went to my room and did as I asked. Jessica grabbed James and towed him with her to the back bedroom.
“What is she talking about?” asked James.
“I can’t explain it right now, but Aslinn thinks she can resurrect Eric using this spell and this stuff and I don’t know….I have to call Bill,” she said.
“Well, call him,” he said.
“Call Tara and Willa and see if they will come,” said Jessica.

Aolani brought down the small wooden chest with the book on top of it. I grabbed it and I grabbed a computer bag and began to transfer everything in the bag. “I don’t know if we will have to use it, but I want to have it in case we need it. It may even heal him if we find a body.”
“Aslinn, think about this,” said Barrister.
“I can’t let Eric be dead, he is my best friend and I would like to think he would save me, no matter what, he would make me Vampire and save me,” I said.
“You know he would, but what if he comes back wrong? What then?” he asked.
“Then I will end him,” I said.
“Will you?” he asked.
“I can’t let him be gone without trying everything,” I said.

“She what?” asked Bill.
“You have to come,” said Jessica. “You have to help us with her, she is talking about resurrecting him like they did with Dracula, and he may come back crazy like he did. You have to come.”
“I’ll be right there,” he said.

Our tickets were ready and I had Pam get the travel coffins out and Anubis Air was bringing more travel coffins. We would get Anubis Air Sweden to give us one for Eric when we brought him back. Pam then ran to get clothes for both Eric and herself and Willa and Tara appeared.

“Where are we going?” asked Tara.
“Sweden, Eric is hurt and we are going after him,” said Minnie.
“Going after him?” asked Willa.
“Willa, can you feel Eric?” asked Renee.
“I am not sure, I felt a shiver, but I don’t know what it means,” she said.
“Do you feel alone in your body?” asked Renee. “Do you feel Eric?”
“I don’t know,” she said.
“Maybe when she gets closer to him,” said Len. “You girls need to get some clothes for yourselves and James and Jessica if you are going with us.” Tara and Willa dashed back out and headed towards Bon Temps.

Barrister called our house in England and had the house opened up and the caretakers check to see if that pre-trouble Tru:Blood was still at the house.

“If we get…”
“When we get,” I corrected. Minnie nodded. “When we get…”
“When we get Eric healed, we can let him convalesce in England and he has plenty of Tru:Blood on hand for him and our friends to drink,” he said.
“Okay,” I said. There was a knock on the door. It was Bill.

“Tara and Willa are at my house packing bags for themselves and Jessica and James. Do you mind telling me where you are going?” he asked.
“We are going to get Eric,” I said.
“Where is Eric?” he asked.
“He is in Sweden,” I said. “And he could be hurt.”
“Aslinn, Eric could be dead if he was in the sun when the blood died,” he said.
“And I will find him, a drop of his blood is all I need,” I said.
“That is your pain talking,” he said.
“Bill, I was prepared to resurrect you if you had died,” I said. “Eric is my best friend, and he would come to me if I needed him, we have to go to him if he is hurt.”
“Aslinn, look into my eyes,” he said.
“No!” I said struggling away. Minnie yanked me out of his grip.
“We have to get to him, we at least have to know for sure. If he has gone, we have to try to get his remains and show our respect to him,” said Minnie. “If you didn’t want us to resurrect you, we would at least gather your remains what we could and put you to rest.”
“Minnie, sweetheart,” he said. “Eric would not want you to do this, Vampires die and disappear, that is the way we have to be, we don’t get to rest in peace like humans do.”
“Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living,” said Barrister. “I don’t like it any better than you but we have to let the girls have this, this is closure.”
“This is futile,” said Bill. “Aolani, do you want to take the chance that Eric will be a monster like Vlad Tepes?”
“I don’t know,” said Aolani. “He is nothing like Vlad Tepes, maybe if he is resurrected, he will be himself. Eric is good, Bill, he is good, like you, like Pam, like Jessica and Tara and Willa. At first I was scared, but I was thinking maybe it is the character of the Vampire that creates the monster, and there is enough good in Eric’s soul that he would come back to us good. I support Aslinn, and I will help her.”
“Me too,” said Renee.
“Me too Bill,” said Jessica. “I don’t think we can leave this this way.” Bill cursed under his breath.
“Fine,” said Bill. “When do we leave?”
“Five am, so you have time to pack a bag and come back,” I said. “Bring your computer and your credit cards.”
“Fine,” he repeated. “I will be back in an hour.”

The Air Anubis limo came to get us at the house at dawn. I left instructions for Ginger to stay home and Pam sent her a couple months pay to cover her while Fangtasia is still closed and then called Chow to have him do nightly checks on the property. I guess Fangtasia was done for, but it was still Eric’s. Pam had gone by Eric’s and gotten his clothes and had locked up his house and the garage where his corvette sat waiting for her owner to rev her up and take her out. Bill had brought Tara and Willa back and he parked his car and they got their bags out. James and Jessica prepared to get into their travel coffins.

“Don’t we need passports?” he asked.
“We do, you guys don’t,” I said. I turned to Bill.
“Sweetheart, I want to apologize,” he said.
“I know Bill, but I can’t just go and leave him and not find out for sure,” I said. “He may be praying for us to come to him.”
“Eric pray?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said.

Somewhere in Sweden in an icy cave

Eric shivered. His skin was still burning. He had fallen into the snow and though he was terribly burned, he was still alive but he was freezing. When night fell, he crawled out of the saving snow and towards an ice cave. He would not be conscious much longer and he would be frozen. He looked around in the cave. There was a glowing shape before him. “Godric.”
“Sleep my son, they are coming for you,” he said.
“There’s no one,” he said, shivering violently. “They won’t know where I am.”
“Eric, they are coming,” he said.
“Go to them, guide them, please Godric,” he said.
“Nora is here with me,” he said. “Can’t you see her?”
“Nora? With you?” he said. He shivered again; he felt the last bit of his blood turning to ice.
“Yes, she is,” he said. “Rest my son, sleep, when you wake, you will be healed by your friends.”

The plane was blessedly uncrowded, there was just another human companion and her Vampire’s coffin in the bay. She was traveling in a private compartment. I looked at Renee.
“So what did Dr. L say?”
“She said that if there is a body, to bathe it in increasingly warmer water, starting with room temperature water and working up to blood temperature water,” she said. “She gave me a number for her Swedish counterpart, a Dr. Mikael something Swedish with an o with a hash mark through it and an umlaut and three consonants all strung together….” I chuckled.
“Well, we will call him Dr. Mike,” I said.
“That will work,” she said.
“The wolf pack said they had three wolves that were avid climbers and they will take us where you think they might be,” said Len. Barrister was looking at a map of Sweden.
“I have no idea of where to find that mountain,” said Barrister. I closed my eyes and laid my head on his shoulder. I was nearly asleep when Aolani gasped.
“Godric,” she said.
“What? You think we should call up Godric?” asked Renee.
“No, Godric is there,” she said, pointing at the front of the galley. I stood up and looked where she was pointing. There standing in a luminescent halo was Eric’s maker.
“Hello my friends,” he said.
“Godric, is Eric with you?” asked Aolani.
“No, he is not with me, but I know where he is,” said Godric.
“Can you show us on this map?” asked Aolani.
“Of course,” he said. He walked down the aisle and came to a stop by Barrister. His finger stroked a spot on the map and Barrister circled it. “There is an ice cave there, he had fallen into a drift of snow and he was terribly burned, so when you see him, don’t be shocked. He will be frozen but he is still there. We don’t really die of freezing, we eventually die of starvation, but it takes us a long time to starve. But he is badly burned. He knows you are coming, I told him. He did not believe me.” Godric smiled his enigmatic smile.
“So he was alive when you saw him?” asked Minnie.
“Yes, dear one, he was alive,” said Godric. “He knows you are coming. He will be very hungry, so have plenty of human blood ready.”
“We will,” said Aolani.
“I will go back to him and wait with him till you have him,” said Godric. “Nora is with him now, sitting with him so he will not be alone.”
“Thank you Godric,” I said.
“Thank you for coming for my son,” he said. “Be careful and be well.”

And he disappeared.

We deplaned just at nightfall in Stockholm. We headed for the hotel and headed for our suite. The wolves of Stockholm were coming to us to meet us in a coffee bar down the street. Bill and Pam and Jess and the rest rose and we called in their room service for them and us. The Tru:Blood Hep V epidemic was not happening because of the remoteness of the country and the small population of Vampires. We had the foresight to take our vampire’s blood to show they did not have Hep V and we were flagged through with our Vampires with no trouble. Six feeders arrived. One was tall and blonde like Eric and my heart ached. I know it was affecting Minnie and Aolani, and we just chinned up, Eric was still alive, frozen and waiting for us. Dr. Mike came to us while the Vampires were off in their rooms having supper.

“So this Vampire is terribly burned and starved?” he said.
“Yes,” said Aolani.
“Well, you will have to thaw him and that will be very painful,” said the doctor. “I have only thawed two Vampires in my career and they suffered a great deal, but if he can get through it, he will heal and he will be good as new.”
“Is there anything we can do to alleviate his pain or lessen it?” asked Renee.
“Some Vampires get some benefits from drinking human blood laced with morphine,” he said. “But it has to be a lot,” said the doctor. “I can get you the blood and the morphine; show you how to mix it. How heavy is he when he is whole?”
“About 230 pounds,” said Aolani.
“It will take a lot, and this will be expensive,” said the doctor.
“Money is no object,” said Sean.
“Fifty thousand kronor per bag,” said the doctor.
“About eight grand in US money,” I said.
“You will need at least ten pints of blood,” he said. “I can arrange for it to be AB neg for no extra cost.”
“Will you take AMEX?” asked Barrister.
“Of course,” he said.
“Let’s do a paper exchange then,” said Barrister.
“I will call in the blood and the morphine and have it delivered to you before I leave,” he said. He whipped out the phone and punched in a number and stepped away. Bill and the rest came out.
“What is going on?” he asked.
“I’ll tell you in a moment,” I said. Barrister then walked the Hobbit out to go downstairs and do the exchange with his credit card. “Godric came to us Bill and showed us where Eric was.”
“Eric is alive?” he asked.
“Frozen in an ice cave, burned terribly and frozen but he is here and we know where he is, Godric showed us on a map,” I said.
“And that thing on the phone,” asked Bill.
“That is Dr. Ludwig’s Swedish counterpart,” said Renee. “He is fixing us up with morphine laced blood, to try to take the edge off Eric’s pain as we thaw him out.”
“We better go if we are going to meet with the wolves,” said Len.
“Grab the map,” I said. “Wait for Barrister.”
“Do you want us to go with you?” asked Bill.
“No, just wait for us here, the wolves may not too comfortable with a bunch of Vampires converging on them right away,” I said.

The wolves were big Swedes dressed in leather and fur and they were something else. One was named Aron, and the other was named Tamar. They spoke English with a thick accent.
“So your friend Eric, he is Vampire?” he asked.
“You have a problem with that?” I asked.
“No, I do not,” he said. “We work with her majesty Queen Gerda here.”
“Should we present ourselves to her majesty?” asked Barrister.
“No, that is not necessary,” he said. “We don’t do this for free you know.”
“We are prepared to pay,” I said.
“Two million kronor,” he said.
“Around 300K in US dollars,” I said.
“Is that too much?” he asked.
“Is that enough?” asked Barrister.
“Ample,” he said. “We will take a helicopter to this place. We will have to do this in the day, but we will take protective coverings for your Vampire. We can take three of you. We prefer one of our own and we prefer men only, we don’t want to take women because it is a dangerous thing we do.”
“That is not going to set well for our friends,” I said.
“Sorry,” he said.
“Len and I will be with you, when can you leave?” asked Barrister.
“In the morning,” said the were.
“Dawn?” he asked.
“Earlier the better,” said the were.
“We will see you at dawn,” he said. “I will have half the payment in the morning and half when we get back and bonus.”
“Sounds like a deal,” he said.

“So you ladies will all be staying here,” said Len.
“I want to go though,” said Minnie.
“It is the way they want it. But they won’t get paid until we get back with Eric,” said Barrister. “We have to go in the day, they said they would put on a protective cover for him. We will bring him back here and we can begin to work on him. The sooner we get him with us, the sooner we can get him healed and get him home.”
“It will be okay, these are top helicopter and rescue men,” said Len.
“If that is the way it has to be,” I said.

Barrister and Len went to bed and I sat up. I stared into the fire. It was cold already in Sweden at night and I stared into the gas fire and thought about my friend. Bill came and sat down with me. “Are you cold?”
“Yeah,” I said. I moved to put my head on Bill’s chest and he put his arm around my shoulders.
“You know, I am a dismal failure as a hot water bottle,” he said. I chuckled.
“That’s okay,” I said. “I am glad you are back.”
“I know you love Eric,” he said. “I don’t like it, but I understand. You talk to him, you care for him. He was there for you when I was unavailable.”
“You have it all wrong,” I said. “I do love Eric, but I am not in love with him. I…feel connected with him that is different from the way I thought I could ever be connected with him. He is always on the make, he is who he is, but you know, he just doesn’t try that hard anymore, it sort of a friendly joke we have with each other. He is everything I thought would be wonderful about being a Vampire, especially a Vampire as old as he is. He is an amazing person, an amazing man, and I admire him, how could I not love a man like that?”
“You could not,” he said.
“But, Bill, you know if it had been you, I would be doing the same, going through whatever extreme to get you back to us,” I said. “I do love you, and it is the kind of love I share with my husband. But I know, you love me, but you are in love with Sookie.”
“That is complicated,” he said.
“No it isn’t,” I said. “Someday, if you are lucky enough, you will get her back and you won’t want me. Sookie is the love of your afterlife. But that is okay…if it happens, it will be okay. I will not be sad when I have to let you go. Renee on the other hand…”
“Renee will not like me much,” he said. “I will always love you though, you and Renee, even if we have to go our separate ways or redefine our relationships with each other.”
“And I will always love you,” I said. “I just want to give Eric a chance at being rescued. I want to have him home, with us, playing poker, and making dirty suggestions and I want this winter to be quiet and I want us to have Samhain and Christmas and just be there for one another. No matter what happens in the second world, you will always be a part of our lives, and you will always be our friends, no matter what.”
“In the alternate world you created…you made me and Eric very happy,” he said.
“And you deserve that happiness. It made me happy to make you and Eric happy,” I said.
“You are our maker,” said Bill.
“And you and Eric are my boys, all of our boys,” I said. I leaned back and he kissed me. Bill and I had not slept together in a long time and that night, we went to his room and we reconnected in that lovely way we had not in a long time, because while he was not quite himself, I felt he was a stranger, but Bill was returned to me and I knew it, felt it and we reunited and strengthened our blood bonds and fell asleep.

We were all up at dawn, except for our Vampires and we saw Barrister and Len off and we began to make preparations for Eric. We had a suite with a special handicapped tub and shower. We brought in loads of towels and Renee had already doped the blood and we had it in the hotel fridge in our suite. The doctor said we could begin thawing and just keep it in the fridge until we used it. We had twelve pints and he said the Queen of Sweden would pay for ten more to help us heal Eric after the wolves told her about Eric and their rescue mission. I sent her a message through her day time staff and thanked her.

The snow was blinding as the helicopter flew over the mountain ridge. They had plotted the flight and they knew where the ice caves were on this particular spot but there was more than one. There were six wolves with them. They were in cold weather jumpsuits and they were in harness. The pilot hovered over the area.

“This is it,” said Barrister.
“I recognize it,” said Len. They were speaking through the headsets and the pilot turned the helicopter around the face the crags of the mountain.
“Well, at least the caves are grouped together,” said Tamar. They then spoke in Swedish to their team and the four weres carefully went out the port and climbed down. When the last were was down the helicopter climbed a little and they took off.

It was a bit of a slog, the snow was wet and heavy. They moved carefully and went toward the craggy cave openings. They checked first one and then another. In the third one, they found something.

“Jesus Christ but this poor bastard is surely dead,” said the were. “He is burned up, very bad, his skin looks terrible. There is no way they could heal this.”
“That is not our concern,” said Aron. “They want his body, wrap it up and secure it, make sure it is covered completely up and I will send the basket down.”
Barrister and Len watched as the basket came down and they laid the curled up object covered in blankets and tied securely with rope in the basket and the pilot let down the ladder as the basket was hoisted up to the undercarriage of the helicopter. The weres were in.
“What does he look like?” asked Len.
“Terrible, as if he was in hell,” said the wolf.

When Barrister called, we were ready. We had two bags of blood doped and warming and we had the tub filling with lukewarm water. When they knocked, we opened the door. They had a bundle tied up in blankets on a luggage cart. They came in and we stood there.

“Is that Eric?”
“Yes, he was curled up in the floor of the cave and listen…he is in really bad shape, in fact…they say he is really monstrous to look at,” said Barrister.
“We knew it would be really really bad,” said Aolani.
“Let me and Len take him in and untie and uncover him and get him in the tub for you and then you girls can come in when we leave and start to work on him,” said Barrister.
“Okay,” I said.

Len was a werewolf and former police officer and Barrister’s father was a doctor and he had looked at medical books and his father had shown him pictures of stupid people who drove drunk. Then there was his sister’s death. Nothing could have prepared them for Eric. His skin was frozen but oozing in spots. His hair was gone, burned away. One of his eyes were slitted open and his whole body was a raw blister. His hands were twisted and looked melted to his body his legs were drawn up and his ankles crossed.

“Jesus wept,” said Len.
“Let’s get him in the tub,” said Barrister. “Just lay him down in the water and well, he can’t drown, so just try to get him to thaw so they can get that doped blood in him.”
“Do you think he can actually come back from this?” asked Len.
“I don’t know, he is a real old Vampire, he is a strong Vampire and he is a strong man, with a…I don’t know, a real desire to live, if you can say that about a dead man…Let’s get him in there and see what happens.” Barrister and Len lifted Eric and they gently as they could laid him the tub and came back out.
“Girls, he looks really bad. I don’t know if this is gonna be a good thing. He is just awful looking,” said Barrister.
“Does he look the way Bill did when he went into the sun after Sookie?” asked Minnie.
“Worse honey, he looks worse. He has no hair. His skin is charred and blistered, his fingers are deformed and he is curled up in a ball. One of his eyes are slitted open so you may want to put a pad on his eye just to protect it. It looks intact, but I don’t know, it may help him,” he said. “He smells bad, like burned meat and he is oozy, so you may want to have us help you periodically take him out and clean the tub. Maybe that will help him too.”
“But girls, he looks so bad, I think he may not make it. Now, he’s a strong guy, but I don’t know, I don’t think we should have our hopes up,” said Len.
“Okay,” said Renee. “Eyes on the prize girls and we will save our buddy.”

Aolani and Renee and Minnie and I walked into the bathroom. In the bottom of the tub lay Eric, the water covering most of his body. “Oh, Eric,” said Minnie, choking back her tears.
“Steady,” said Renee. “Let’s take a real good look at him. Burns are nasty, but, we have to look at him.”
We went to the tub and we gently put our hands under him. “Jesus he is frozen near solid,” said Renee.
“Let’s just get him up and look him over,” said Aolani. We gently as we could sat him up. Eric was pretty rough looking, in fact he looked nothing like my best friend.
“Oh Eric,” I said, echoing Minnie.
“He is already thawing out,” said Renee. “See the oozing?” She pointed out the area. “And see, the skin is already healing.” She smeared the thawed and viscous blood to reveal new tender skin.
“Okay, there is something to hold onto,” I said. “Let’s lay him down and let him thaw on this side and dip our wash cloths and just wring it out over him and then turn him over and do the other side and then have the boys help us with him and run water just a little warmer.”

We worked over him for two hours on one side and then turned him over but not before we saw more new skin under the blood. We rinsed the blood and saw even more healed skin. “Renee, can we start to give him that blood?” asked Minnie. “I don’t want him to be in pain.” Renee ran her fingers on his carotid arteries and she shook her head.
“Not yet, they are getting suppler, but they aren’t yet. When his arms and legs are suppler, and we can lay him on his back, we can get a line in him and start him on the blood,” she said. We spent two more hours rinsing the water over him. Barrister came in.
“Wow, he looks so much better already. Is that new skin?” he asked.
“Yeah, it’s real delicate, but it is new skin, he is already healing on the surface,” said Aolani. “Ask Len to come in…we will lay the towels out for him and you can lift him out and we will clean the tub and refill it with a little warmer water.”

The boys lifted him out and he was already limbering up. They laid him down and he slowly slid flat on his back. “Well his works are still intact,” said Barrister.

“Let us get his bath ready and we will trade you, just keep squeezing water over him and don’t rub, his skin is pretty delicate,” said Renee.
We cleaned the tub and then ran warmer water and called the boys back in. They crouched down to pick him up and a slight moan escaped from his lips.
“Eric?” said Barrister. We rushed to him.
“Lay him down,” said Renee. They laid him back on the towels and Renee gently palpated his artery in his throat. “His skin is as thin as a baby. I don’t think it is thick enough to take an IV.”
“Can we trickle some of it down his throat?” asked Minnie.
“Can we do a nasogastric feed?” I suggested. I had been offered a nasogastric tube and I refused it when I was ill because I did not want to be a vegetable and have a feeding tube.
“We can try,” said Renee. Aolani grabbed one of the two bags we had kept warming and the tubing packaging. She opened the tubing and took off the IV stump and with one hand she spread one of Eric’s nostrils gently and with the other she began to feed the tubing into his nose. “Aslinn, this is where I would be telling Eric to swallow, just put your finger all the way to the back of his throat and tell me when you feel the tubing.” I opened his mouth and Eric moaned again and I slid my finger to the back of his throat. He seemed to gag a little. Renee pushed gently and I felt the tubing.
“I feel it,” I said.
“Okay now this is tricky. I have to get it in his belly and I have no guide. I have to do this by intuition,” she said. “Just put your finger on the back of his tongue and sort of put pressure on it so it doesn’t fall back as I thread the tube down.” I pressed on the back of his tongue and Eric’s eyes twittered in the sockets. “Just a little longer buddy.” Renee was concentrating carefully. She kept feeding the tubing until she felt some imperceptible thing. “Okay, let me run a little water in there and we will see…If it is in the trachea and not in the stomach, he will cough.” Barrister got her a cup of warm water and she dribbled a couple of drops into the tub and she tapped the tubing. When Eric did not cough, she handed Barrister the cup. “Okay, let’s get him back in the water and we will start tube feeding him the doped blood and you boys can rinse him down and we will have something to eat.”
“He almost looks like Eric,” said Barrister, gently picking him up again. Len had his legs and they gently laid him back in the tub. He moaned again with the warmer water. “Sorry Eric, just try to relax, you are getting better mate.” Renee hooked the warmed blood up and hung it on the shower head and adjusted the feed.

We went out and flopped down. We had been working over Eric for five hours and we were wasted. “It is two hours before dark,” I said.
“Bill and Pam and Jess and then can take turns with him then through the night,” I said.
“Let’s order supper and get showers and change clothes ourselves and then see what we need to do next,” said Aolani. “Minnie, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I feel better seeing him heal and waking a little even though he is in pain,” said Minnie. “It means we are doing something right.”
We ordered dinner and had it brought up and took showers and changed our clothes. Pam was the first up. “Did you get him?”
“Yeah, he looks a lot better already and we are feeding him through a tube in his nose going to his belly,” said Renee. “Barrister and Len are with him.” Pam blurred away. Willa and Tara came out. We gave them the same report.
“We’ll wait for Pam to finish her visit,” said Tara. “Is he awake at all?”
“A little, but we are hoping the morphine will keep him asleep and take the edge off his pain,” said Aolani.
“Did he look really bad?” asked Willa.
“He did, he still looks….really weird…but he is way better than when they brought him in. He was a nightmare,” said Renee. “A real train wreck.”
Pam knelt by the tub. Hair was beginning to sprout on his naked scalp. His hands were articulate. She reached for his hand. “Gently Pam, Eric’s skin is very new and thin so don’t squeeze,” said Len.

“Eric,” she said. “Can you hear me?” Eric’s eyes moved under his eye lids. His fingers moved a fraction. “Are you in pain?” He exhaled and nodded minisculely. “Can you tolerate it?” He nodded. “Are you hungry?” He shook his head. And lifted his eyes to the IV bag. “They are giving you blood and morphine Eric.” He nodded again. Pam gently touched his cheek. “We have you back, you will be healed and strong.” He nodded. He looked at her but his eyelids were heavy. “Sleep Eric, we have you.”
“Can you take over in a couple hours, you and Tara and Willa and Jessica?” asked Len.
“Yeah, just tell us what to do,” said Pam.
“We are just wringing water over him, over and over, and we take him out in two hours and run water just a little bit warmer than we had it,” said Barrister. “When we take him out we rinse and wipe the tub with these Clorox wipes. We will show you how to change the IV bags and all that.”
“When can he come out of the tub?” asked Pam.
“Well you guys are supposed to be 65 degrees, and Eric is right around 40, so he has a while yet to warm up, but Renee and the girls think once you get him up to 50 you can take him out and we can bundle him up and put humans in bed with him and share body warmth with him and bring his temp up that way, by then his skin should be thick enough to tolerate the pressure,” said Len. Len was standing up and Eric reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Thank you,” he mouthed.
“You owe me big time,” said Len. “And you really owe Barrister.”
“We’ll settle up when you are well,” said Barrister.

The boys left and let Pam work over him and Willa and Tara went in. Bill and Jess and James were having Tru:Blood. “I am happy Eric is doing better, and he seems to be healing so well,” said Bill.
“He has a while to go yet, but we may be able to get him to England in a week,” said Renee.
“Well, his golden glory is coming back in, fine as a baby’s but it is coming,” said Barrister. “We showed Pam everything about the feeding tube and we went on and changed the bag and showed her how and she is going to do the bathing for two more hours and drain the tub then we will show her how hot to run the water for the next bath.”
“Did you tell her about the Clorox wipes?” asked Minnie.
“Yeah, they know,” said Barrister. “Oh and he communicated with us, well Pam at first and then to us.”
“Did he speak?” asked Minnie.
“He mouthed ‘thank you’ but he didn’t actually say the words,” said Barrister.
“Can I go see him?” asked Jess. Pam said something. “She says for me to get my narrow ass in there, she’s so pleasant.”
“You better get your narrow ass in there, before she comes after you,” said Bill.
“Yes sir,” she said and blurred away.
“I am worn out, I will go to bed,” I said.
“Go love, I will be there in a couple of hours,” he said.
“Make sure to eat something,” I said. I kissed him and then kissed Bill. I went in and flopped on the bed and slept till dawn.

After a quick breakfast and a cup of coffee we went back in and Pam and Jessica were sent in to go to day rest. “We just changed the water and the blood and he was awake a little while, about 20 minutes, but we think he is in normal day rest,” Pam said. “Willa said she could feel him much stronger now.”
“Good, that is good,” said Renee. “Go on to bed, get some rest, grab a Tru:Blood and have something first before you sleep.”
“I haven’t said thank you,” said Pam.
“Well, we would do this for you,” said Aolani. “His hair is growing out.” Eric had hair in a thick stubble like a high and tight. It was light blonde and soft like duck fluff. We settled ourselves down and began our shift.

A Week Later

“Gerry, help us with this coffin please and let’s try not to jostle him much,” said Barrister.
“These them Vamps you had here a while back?” he asked.
“Yeah, and a few more,” said Barrister.
“Good thing you got all that artificial blood then,” he said.

Eric’s recovery had been remarkable. He was walking three days after being frozen solid and burned to a blister and though he was weak, we were able to take the tube out and do a regular IV. He was still very sore and painful and we cared for him like a baby, rubbing his skin with lotion and laying in bed with him all bundled up and our arms around him. He slept a lot both day and night and woke only when he was uncomfortable. The morphine was keeping the worse of his pain away but he asked for Tru:Blood to sip and make himself warmer. His temperature was between 55 and 60 degrees, so we were happy.

The groundsman and his boys carried the coffins carefully down in the light tight coffins and then helped us lift Eric out and Aolani and Minnie got in bed with him and wrapped their arms around him and went to sleep. We went to bed too, tired as we were. I was glad to be back in England but Bill was champing at the bit to return to America. There were a lot of things happening and he wanted very much to be back. He had begun writing his book and he was more than a little edgy as he wrote it. He gave us various chapters and we helped him with the chain of events.

The days were cool in England and the coming of fall was close at hand.

And Eric was well.