Fangers and Megs

Fangers and Megs was a Vampire /Human Pub in Harrow where we sometimes went for a glass of beer, some pretty good fish and chips and the newest in British Vampire Blood Substitute called Red Ale. It was put out by Guinness Breweries but we knew it was just rebranded Tru:Blood. The original corporation had sold the rights to the formula and Guinness and Harp and Smithwicks were getting into the bottled blood business and we knew that Coors and Budweiser was preparing to do the same thing. It would take a long time, but it would eventually be accepted by the fanged set in America.

The UK brands were embraced with a relief. We made orders for an ample supply to hold our Vampires in healthy substitute blood for a long while. Bill was constantly on the phone with the States but I was not that interested in what he was doing and I think it hurt his feelings I was not nosy about his phone calls. The few times we had spent in the light tight room in Barrister’s manor house had been punctuated with short quickly staked discussions about what he was planning to do back in the states. Personally, I don’t think anyone but him was in a hurry to return to America. Even Eric was unconcerned.

James and Jessica were at the juke box, running through the list on the juke box. F and M’s jukebox had everything from early baroque and chamber music to rap and hip hop. Jessica had become interested in hippy music. I called her the ‘throwback’. That was when a young girl or guy would embrace the music and culture of another time and because of her boyfriend, she was a flower child, though she did trade in her broomstick skirts for miniskirts and go-go boots. I could see her in a cage at the Whiskey and James had promised to take her to San Francisco when things were okay. Lately, the HepV infected Vampires had been biting the noninfected Vampires to force them into their ranks and the virus was mutating. It was terrible. It made the difference between the traditional zombie and the Vampire very thin.

“What are you thinking about so hard dearest?” I looked up and looked directly into the grey orbs of Eric Northman. He looked great considering he had been found a crispy critter a few weeks ago. Now he was elegantly slouched in a Who Quadrophenia t-shirt and jeans and lace up boots.
“Nothing at all,” I said. “We need to go to London and get some shopping done,” I said. “I have done all the shopping I can do on line and now I have to go to London. Anyone interested?”
“I want to go…can we go to SoHo? I hear they have a lot of great shops,” said Jessica, scooting back to her seat. James slid into his chair with her. Barrister looked a little impatient. He had not been with Jess since James had come into the picture, but I was afraid it was going to take a while longer for some of the gold to get rubbed off him. Right now, he was it for Jessica.
“Absolutely,” I said. “We need to go to the Black Cat’s Cauldron anyway.”
“Yes, I am out of everything,” said Aolani. Pam was telling Renee that she wanted to go to Harrods and do some real shopping and then nudged Eric and said she would need his black AMEX card so she could go properly shopping, this Harrow town and country look was okay, but she missed her Louboutans and her a-lined skirts and custom made underwear. Eric wiggled around and slid his wallet out and gave her one of his AMEX cards and Pam snatched another card and he rolled his eyes.

“Women rob you blind,” said Eric.
“You need to hang out with the dudes more, Eric, we spend less money and we don’t care if you wear designer panties,” said Len.
“That’s right,” said Barrister. “You needn’t wear that frilly silky stuff for us.”
“Good because I don’t wear any underwear,” said the bold Viking. Minnie giggled. “Oh alright, sometimes I do, but hush you.”
“Did he wear sexy bloomers for you Minnie?” asked Renee, who wanted something to taunt Eric with.
“No,” she said, still fighting the giggles.
“So what did he wear like speedos or something?” I asked. Eric squinted his eyes at me and took a drink of his Red Ale.
“He wears silky underwear with smiley faces on them,” she said, laughing at his scowl.
“Well, then I know one little girl who is not going to see my smiley underwear for a long time,” he said.
“Why? You gonna wear the ones with the little devils on them?” asked Pam. Tara and Willa laughed.
“Give me my cards back,” said Eric, wiggling his fingers at her in a come on gesture.
“So sorry,” she said to Eric. “Not.”

Bill’s phone rang again and he stepped away from the table. “There he goes again,” said Renee, looking at Bill’s broad back. Unlike me and Bill who stifle a fight and take it out on one another in the sack, Renee and Bill fought. If Bill were not so much of gentleman, I would worry about Renee, but I knew he would never hurt her.

“Yeah, I have threatened to hold that thing underwater,” I said.
“Who Bill? Oh let me,” said Eric.
“His phone smart ass,” I said. “But I will keep you in mind.” Eric blew me a kiss and I showed him my finger.
“Why is he all about going back to that shit hole anyhow,” said Tara. Bon Temps was not Tara’s place in the world and she was in no hurry to return to it anytime soon. “I like it here.”
“Me too,” said Willa.
“Eventually we will have to go home and look into what might be left,” said Eric. “I have to figure out what to do with Fangtasia and what I am going to next, if I come back to the New World for good, or if I come back here.” Three big Vampires come in and we gave them the hair eyeball. We usually didn’t give other Vampires more than a courtesy glance but we were extremely wary because of the disease. They sat down at a table and then spotted us and stood up and came back toward us.

“Uh oh,” said Pam.
“You know the rules,” said Aolani.
“What rule?” asked Tara.
“Vampires don’t say uh oh,” I said in low voice.
“Cheers,” said the first Vampire. He was about Eric’s height and he was about as broad and he sported something of a gut but he looked healthy. “I’m Reggy, I’m the magistrate around here.”
“We are sorry, we don’t know the rules around here for visiting Vampires,” said Eric. “I’m Eric Northman.”
“And you pretty lady, what might your name be?” If you wrote that phonetically you would hear this: An’ YEW Priddy LayDee wot might yer NIME bay?
“I’m Pam, his daughter, and this is my daughter Tara and this is my baby sister, Willa,” she said.
“And these two young lovers?” he asked.
“This is Jessica, “ said Bill rejoining our party. “She is my daughter and his is her boyfriend, James.”
“Yanks?” he said.
“Yes, but we are all perfectly healthy,” said Eric.
“Here are the rules and regs like,” he said. “You are not permitted to hunt. You can call a feeding service or you can drink the Red Ale but we don’t allow hunting without authority.”
“And what if, for the sake of argument, we would like to hunt?” asked Eric. I flashed him an ugly look.
“Then it’s the Lord Mayor Vampire Harrow you would need to be seeing,” he said. “And likely he would say no, you being yanks and all. Behave yourself, and you will enjoy your time here. Act up and you will wish you had.”
“Gotcha,” said Eric, winking. Reg walked away.
“Did you burn away the frontal lobe of your damned brain Eric?” I asked in a hiss.
“Sorry, Aslinn, I could not resist,” he said.
“I’ll resist you with the business end of an ash stake,” I said. I gave him a parting glare. “Hey there, the local witches have invited us to the esbat celebrations, wanna go and see what the scene is here?” I asked Aolani.
“Do they mind if Jessica joins us?” asked Aolani.
“Apparently they don’t have those restrictions here in Britain or if they do, they don’t care, they said they had Vampires in their own coven,” I said. “Besides, it would be nice to hook up with some witches for Samhain.”
“It would,” said Aolani.
“Anyone interested in seeing a late movie?” asked Eric. “I’m treating.”
“You buy the tickets, Len and I will buy the snacks,” said Barrister.
“What shall we go see?” he asked.

The phone rang and Bill was up again.