March 17

Wednesday, March 17

11 ½ weeks from June and 2 weeks after that, we will be returning to Bon Temps. We had been waiting for this moment that blessed moment when we would be pulled back into the world we thought about constantly. Would things be drastically different? Or would they simply be the same people, the same places. I don’t think any of us will be the same when we returned to the adventures. The experience with Maryann, the bombing of the Dallas Lair, the death of Godric and his child’s pain, the blood bond with Sookie and the bravery of Sam had changed us. Then the kidnapping of Bill and Jessica’s apparent madness and anger over the fact that she was Vampire and could not even experience the one thing that would keep her linked to her humanity a moment longer, her ability to love and be loved.

I know I was not the same. I began being irritated with Sookie that she would be upset over her uncle’s death and Bill’s possible duplicity. Of course I understood her anger with him over Jessica. Not telling her what he had to do to get out of trouble for killing Long Shadow was not just being dishonest but not being forward thinking. Where it has to do with Vampire law and Sookie’s place in his world she needs to be in the know. Bill really knew better.

But the continuing romance between Sookie and Bill kept me riveted and I know that my heart will be broken very likely at the end of this season. It simply has to. I have come to grips with it. I accept it. And really it has very little to do with Eric. I would be the same way with any man who is the interloper between them. The wonderful thing about Sookie is that in the first and second world, we can be her. That is why there is so much consternation over Bill and Eric.

But in this world, where I sit typing in our parlor, we are all Sookie, wiser perhaps, more tolerant, but we are all Sookie. We know who we like, whether it is Bill or Eric. Here we can be in the same position as her, loved and loving the objects of our desire. We know what we would do as the love mates of these men, how to treat them and move with them in both their world and ours.

I wonder though, if we could really accept them? We have seen most all of our Vampires act savagely. Eric was the first to show his most savage nature, tearing Royce apart and torturing Lafayette. Perhaps he was justified, especially in the case of Royce, but is he justified with Lafayette? Need he be so brutal when he knows he is powerful and could have simply leaned in and scared the shit out of the short order cook? I credit Eric with many things, but seeing the future is not one of them. He simply saw the opportunity to get Sookie to work for him to find Godric. I wonder if Godric would have approved of Eric’s deal with Sookie, his holding of Lafayette hostage to get Sookie to work for him. Money would have been enough. I doubt it, really.

Godric was the ultimate good guy Vampire, the Vampire Gandhi who wanted peace for his people and the humans, who sacrificed himself, though I think in vain, to try and help humans to see Vampires as former breathers with love and compassion still in them. He was not always this way. He was a Vampire when the world was a savage place and he taught Eric everything he knew. He did not have his moment of enlightenment while teaching Eric, and Eric, a good student, learned his lessons well. If there was such a thing as the “lucky” Vampire, Eric was surely that. He was lucky to have learned how to be Vampire under the tutelage of the ancient boy who found him on his pyre and gave him his eternal life.

Not like Bill, who was a good man just trying to get home to his wife and family after the war. Lorena was looking for a certain type of man, a good man she could corrupt. She is like all predators. Part of the hunt is the anticipation of the corruption, the pollution. Lorena is one of those predators who play with her food and she taught Bill the same thing, to enjoy the tang of fear on the breaths and in the blood of their victims. I think she even enjoyed Bill’s pain later, when his conscience is piqued and he feels remorse for his evil life with her, the murders and bloody beds.

There was of course Maryann. She was a strange character and really no different from the religious zealotry of the Newlins. True, she did not care a wit whether Vampires had civil rights or not, but they both believed that if they did this, have this extreme sacrifice, they would have the favor of their god. The blood of supernaturals sacrificed in the name of their god would have brought them the blessings they so desperately desired. And Maryann and Steve Newlin both wanted to die for the love of their god. Steve Newlin bared his throat to Eric and told him to kill him that God would embrace him in heaven and Maryann is not sad when she is gored by the bull, she is ecstatic to be dying at the pleasure of her god. It is only when Eric walks away and the Bull becomes Sam that both are disappointed. They are forsaken by their god, their sacrifice in vain.

So what will happen? We are starting to be teased now, with dangled bits of images to whet our appetites and we are suckers for it. The little tids or things spark our attention. Where is Bill? Is Sookie in Eric’s basement, perhaps looking for her Vampire? And why does Eric look so good in that black outfit, is there something special going on? Or is this all a part of Sookie’s link to him? And who is Jessica dragging into Bill’s house? What will the Werewolves like? What is going to happen to Tara? What will happen next? That is what we are wondering, these are the questions we want the answers to.

Will we be able to make it? I don’t know. The DVDs of the previous season come out in May, along with the book, HBO is replaying the second season with minisodes between them, which may further confuse us. And then the teasers and spoilers that will be floating around in the weeks to come. Will they only frustrate us? I don’t know.

But I know this, I will be there every Sunday night, watching the epis, taping them carefully so I can enjoy them over and over again and analyze them for each Wednesday’s session. I will worry about all of them and feel sad when it is over and be excited all over again when we wait that long wait for the next season.

I am a junkie….
11 ½ weeks……The road seems so long.

And it was during these musings that I was startled from my reveries.

“My Aslinn, you have grown so philosophical,” said a woman’s voice.
“Jesus Christ, Pam, don’t scare me like that,” I said, pressing my hand to my chest in surprise at the Vampire’s greeting. She laughed. I think she liked scaring me.
“Do you really think all those things about us?” she asked, sitting down by me in the second desk chair.
“I do,” I said. “I hadn’t noticed the sun was down already.”
“Yes, it is the end of the day,” she said, smiling her odd smile.
“Do you miss it? The sun?” I asked.
“Eric is right, you do ask strange questions,” she said. “Not at all, when I was as you are, women shielded themselves from the sun. We wore large brimmed hats and veils and shawls and covered up our bosoms to keep from the sun, so, when I became Vampire, I was pleased I would no longer have to bother with that anymore.”
“So how long did you travel with Eric when you first became Vampire?” I asked.
“Many years,” she said, sitting back in the desk chair, crossing her legs and resting her arms on the rests of the chair, much like a queen on a throne. “He was a very good maker, a very good lover, though my tastes awaked to others.”
“If there is anything I like about the idea of Vampire, it is the liberation you must feel,” I said.
“It is liberating to women,” she said.

About that time, the other members of the group began to file in. It was St. Patrick’s Day, and I was very excited. It was my favorite holiday. I felt my heritage strongly. I selected a number of traditional Irish Gaelic cds and put them in the stereo. It did not take long til we were eating stew and drinking beer, both of the black and the golden variety. I was talking to Bill and Renee and sipping a perfect pint when Eric called the meeting to order. We began to settle on the couches and chairs and wide ottomans and in the floor to begin our meeting.

“As you know, there are many things to speak of, as we now know when the adventures will begin,” said the Viking. We all looked at each other. How often had we jonesed in the chat box over our addictions, our hopes and dreams about the new adventures. We were merely observers, we would have no say in how things played out and we were anxious. Would we live through them without too many scars? I squeezed Bill’s hand, I knew he would be gone from us for a while during the adventures, held against his will, and perhaps evil done to him. If he was afraid, he did not show it as he looked at me and squeezed my hand back. Vi laid her head on his shoulder.

“Who is Jessica dragging into Bill’s house?” asked Sal. “Is is Hoyt?”
“Or is it the trucker?” which was who Fairy thought it could be.
“If it is Hoyt, is he okay? Or is he dead?” asked God Speed.
“And how much trouble is she going to be in?” asked Scarlett. “And who will take care of her with Bill away?” She put her arm around Jessica and hugged her to her. Jessica patted her arm.
“Will you be taking care of her Sheriff?” asked Dude.
“Jessica is Bill’s responsibility,” said Eric.
Sal and Dude and God Speed sent the dark haired Vampire a glare and Jessica was on the verge of tears. Vi handed her tissues.
“It isn’t Bill’s fault,” said Renee. “Hey, he may not have wanted to make her Vampire, but he certainly does not want anything bad to happen to her!”
“Again, she is Bill’s responsibility, “said Eric.
“It is your responsibility too, Eric, you are the Sheriff of Area Five, and she is one of your subjects,” I said, quietly, keeping my voice even.
“I stand corrected,” said the Sheriff. He looked at me a second, and it was not exactly a loving look but I met his gaze. Bill squeezed my hand slightly. I looked away to see Bill’s silent warning.

“And where is Bill and why is he running?” asked Linzy. “Is he running away from something after him? Or is he just trying to figure out where he is?”
“And Lorena,” said Fairy, “Is she there to be mean to him and brutalize him?” She muttered something that sounded like “evil SOC”
“What dearest?” asked Eric, pulling her hand to his chest.
“Nothing, just a rude expression we figured out for her in Tuesday Chat,” she said.
“You were in Tuesday Chat?” asked Eric, looking amused.
“Yes I was,” she said.
“And what does that mean dearest?” he asked. She leaned toward him and whispered in his ear. You have heard that something made their face crack? The stoic Vampire’s face cracked and he laughed out loud. “That is filthy, lover,” he said, delighted at the very crude words. “But it fits her well.” Pam was smiling broadly, Jessica was laughing behind her hand and whispering it to Scarlett and the Kid and even Bill had a smirk on his face. His bright blue eyes rolled slightly in his head and he shook his head a bit. Vampire hearing.

“And where did you hear that expression lover?” he asked.
“Aslinn’s friend suggested it,” she said. Bill must have sustained whiplash he turned to me so fast. Uh oh. He still held my hand but his face was blank.

We chatted for a long while over what we might be seeing and we broke up and went on to begin the St. Patrick’s Day festivities. Bill pulled me to the side.

“You have a friend?” he asked. I nodded. “Do you like him?” I nodded. “Well look at me sweetheart,” he said. I looked up into his eyes. “It is okay, you are warm and alive and you will need someone to be with you while I am gone.”
“So, you will be gone?” I said. He nodded slightly. “I will miss you.”
“I will miss you and all your sister wives,” he said. “Is he good to you?”
“He is very good to me,” I said. He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me gently.
“He better be,” he said.