Lafayette did not like being a medium, but he had to admit, he always felt weird about stuff, especially about the dead. Sometimes it was like he heard his name being called and he would turn around and no one was there. But sometimes, it was like he felt there was something or someone there and he would turn around and he would not see anyone.
This was one of those days. He felt sort of jumpy and expectant. He wrote it off as being sad about Jesus, who had died. Jesus had been to see him a couple of times and in a way it was a comfort. After all, he was the one who opened him up to that ability.
He was standing in his neat little garish kitchen. Nothing in Lafayette's life was simple. He washed up his dishes and set them aside in the drainer to dry and he went into his living room and cleaned this up and threw away his candles. He would get more but he didn't want to use the candles Marnie used when she hijacked his ass and used his body to kill his one true love. As he threw the candles in the garbage bag, he heard his name called.
"Lafayette????" it said, almost like a purr.
"Oh hell no...You guys gotta quit fuckin' with me...I ain't ready for this shit!!!" said Lafayette.
"He doesn't want to talk to us," said the voice.
"He will, keep bothering him," said the other voice.
"Lafayette...you may as well talk to us, we won't go until you talk to us," said the voice.
"What's a hookah gotta do to have some peace?" swore the medium.
"Jesus and Aolani and Aslinn sent us," said the voice. Lafayette recognized the names of the two witches from the True Blood Council. Oh man, what did those bitches want now?
"Don't call our mommies bitches," said the voice.
"What, you telepathic too?" asked Lafayette.
"Of course, the dead talk to you in many ways and we hear you in many ways," said the voice.
Lafayette sat down on his couch. "Okay, so where are you?"
Slipping around the door way of the kitchen came a yellowish orange tabby cat. Coming from around the side of a chair was a huge midnight black cat....Lafayette stood up on the couch, his feet sinking into the cushions. "What the fuck???? Cats can't fuckin' talk."
"We can," said the tabby. "My name is Honey, and my mommy is Aolani."
"And I am Ishee and my mommy is Aslinn," said the black cat.
"Nice to meet you guys...so what, you all were their helpers?" asked Lafayette. "You know, witches and cats."
"Get him, Ishee....Familiars...well, we helped but no, I wasn't a familiar," said Honey.
"No, I don't think I was mommy's familiar either, but I loved being around magik...so maybe I was an accidental familiar," said Ishee.
"So what is it you want?" asked Lafayette.
"Well, if you will sit down and relax, we will tell you. As it is, you make us nervous," said Ishee.
"I make you nervous? Bitch, you could be a panther," said Lafayette to the black cat.
"Who are you calling a bitch? Honey, he needs to get a better vocabulary," said Ishee.
"Maybe Sookie can get him a word a day calendar," said Honey.
"You two know Sookie?" he asked.
"Of course we know Sookie," said Honey. "Because we know Sookie's Great Grandfather."
"Her great grandfather?" asked Lafayette.
"He is a faery and I was staying with him till Honey came and he sent us to you," said Ishee.
"So you guys are faery cats now?" asked Lafayette, settling finally on the couch, but he kept his feet up. Ishee came and sniffed his brown toenail polished feet.
"No, we were just staying there with him til we met Jesus," said Honey.
"You saw Jesus? In faery?" asked Lafayette.
"No, Jesus came to faery when he went to the Summerland during Samhain," said Ishee. "And by the way, the word is pronounced Sow-in."
"Thanks for clearing that up....So why did Jesus send you to me?" asked Lafayette.
"He said you need a spirit guide, but no one else wanted to deal with your shit," said Honey. "But we decided, you were just the kind of person we would like."
"Yeah, evidently, you are a two cat job," said Ishee. Honey and Ishee snickered at that.
"So, what, you two are gonna like haunt me?" asked Lafayette.
"Haunt is such an ugly word," said Honey. "We prefer visit."
"But, yes, long and short of it, we will be haunting you," said Ishee.
"Shit!!!! So what I gotta do, get a litter box and some cat chow up in here...." said Lafayette.
"Listen to him, like we are all alive and all that....No, Lafayette, we will just hang around, come and go, but we will be here if you need us," said Honey.
"And you will need us," said Ishee.
"Because we can carry messages and we talk to the dead we think that will be helpful and we can protect you from bad spirits, and we can teach you things," said Honey.
"And you need to pay attention to us and learn what we teach you," said Ishee.
And suddenly they were gone.....
"Well, that is unusually fucked up... Even for me..." said Lafayette looking around his house.
A note from Aslinn:
From time to time, Ishee and Honey will be interacting with Lafayette....so just keep your eyes open for further adventures...
These little stories are in memory of Ishee and Honey and the mommies who miss them....
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