All Apologies

All Apologies

I parked in front of the bar on this New Years Eve. I slid carefully from my car and smoothed the soft silk of the long black skirt and straightened the purple and black lace blouse. I smoothed my hair back and grabbed my purse. I could hear the sounds of the stereo system thumping, reverberating through the early darkness. I was to meet my counselor for a couple hours here and then we would travel to his house for a few hours of quiet celebration. A call before I left was a call to come a little early so I could talk to the lead counselor. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to be this close to him, he troubled me in ways I didn’t like. But my counselor’s voice said that I must do this for not only him but the lead counselor. I sighed and agreed.

Apparently, the lead counselor was quite upset with a couple of his girls who were showing an interest in the werewolf. I could certainly understand them. Girls interested in our lead counselor were attracted to him for many things, but I suspect what they liked the most about him was his ability to be a very lethal man when he wanted to be. He was a bad boy, and there was something endlessly erotic about holding something that powerful in your arms and knowing that while you are with him, no one will harm you. Conversely, this same ultra protective, dangerous quality could become a bothersome trait of jealousy. This was not really my problem. I was not one of his girls, though I was troubled by him and moved by him and only a stone would be able to stand so close to him and not feel a surge of…well a surge.

I queued up at the door, but the beautiful blond in her red sequined gown came and escorted me into the bar. “He is in his office, go there now, I’ll have Ginger bring you a drink,” she said.

“Red wine, please?” I said tentatively. She smiled her sardonic smile and I smiled nervously back. I went into the bar and walked around the moderately room and went to the door. My hand was raised to knock but a voice interceded.

“Come in Aslinn,” the voice said on the other side. I looked down at myself and stepped in. He was sitting with his back turned to me. I looked over at the computer screen and saw the familiar and much loved layout of the forum. “Please sit dearest.” I sat down. Suddenly he said, “Come in Ginger.” The blond waitress came in and brought me a large glass of red wine. I took it and smiled at her. She smiled back but her eyes lingered at the chair where she knew her beloved “master” sat, troubled.

I sipped the wine and sat it on the corner of the desk.

“On the book case you will find an ashtray and five packs of Turkish blend,” he said. I stood and got the ashtray and a pack of cigarettes and opened them and took one out and lit it, inhaling the sweet tobacco. I sat there, smoking reflexively, waiting.
“Are you going to turn around and speak to me, or are you just going to sit there with your back to me and breathe my second hand smoke?” I asked. He laughed softly. He turned in his chair, in semi shadow.
“You look lovely tonight Aslinn,” said the lead counselor. “You are here to be with your counselor?”
“Yes, one of the other girls is away for the holidays, so I get to spend the New Years with him and she gets to be with him for Valentine’s Day.”
“Do you get jealous? Of the other ones who counsel with him?” he asked, his voice very calm, but his mouth was set in straight line, he was troubled, I could tell.
“No, there is enough of him to go around. Why should I begrudge him the pleasure of their company? Variety, they say, is the spice of life,” I said.
“There is variety and then there is variety,” he said, his mouth betraying his distaste.
“So, what is the matter my friend?” I asked. I called him that, but was he my friend?

“I hate dogs. They are scum,” he said succinctly.
“A little hard on him aren’t you?” I said. “If you were well versed in the other world, you know nothing comes of it. The girls are just a little excited about him is all. It is you they are dedicated to.”
“Are they?” he asked.
“Of course they are, what does he have that you don’t surpass?” I said. “But, then, I am a bit bigoted. I like your kind better.”
“Do you Aslinn?” he asked softly.
“Of course,” I said. “So, you should ignore this spot of bother, he really isn’t worth the effort. With whom are you spending your New Years?”
“Fairy is coming tonight to see the New Year with me,” he said.
“Then you would not want to disappoint her by being sullen and angry,” I said. I sipped the wine and sat back. He was still looking at me.
“No, that would not do,” he said.” How much longer dearest, before our adventure begins again?” he asked.
“Right around twenty-two weeks,” I said. “Not really long at all, it will be June before you know it.”
“Are you excited?” he asked.
“Of course, we all are,” I said. “Are you excited?”

“Very,” he said. He stood up and came around the desk, brushing by me. He took my hand and pulled me up. I looked way up, being 5’2”, he was endlessly tall, towering above me. I swallowed hard. He leaned down a little, slid one of his arms around my waist and put his lips on my cheek, brushing them on my skin. My heart stopped a second and he chuckled. “Happy New Years, Aslinn.”
“Happy New Years,” I said.
“I feel better now, thank you for speaking with me,” he said, his lips still against my cheek.
“You are welcome,” I said softly. “Are you going to let me go?”
“Maybe…” he said